Love Lives Forever

Chapter 55: Can't Catch A Break

December 10th, 1993

5:40 pm

Alana POV

Should I tell him or no? That's the question i've been asking since November 24th. It was now December 10th, the day Michael comes home, and i'm asking myself that same question as I drive to the airport. I know I shouldn't hide this from him, but I also know I shouldn't be putting more stress on him. I honestly don't know what to do. I can't ask anybody for advice because I didn't tell anybody. And that's shocking because I tell Tatyana everything. I sighed as I pulled up to where I was suppose to pick Michael up from. I guess its now or never.

I played with my fingers, lost in my own thoughts, when I heard a knock on the window. I saw my husband standing there with a huge smile on his face & my heart sunk into my stomach. He motioned me to get out the car & I hesitantly did. I couldn't even close the door before he barricaded me with a hug. He squeezed me tight, and I really needed that hug.

"I missed you so much, babygirl, you don't even understand," He let go & held my hands, just smiling his life away. I gave him a fake smile in return.

"I missed you too baby." He smiled even harder & leaned down giving me one of those breathtaking kisses I would usually enjoy, but all I could think about was what I did with Kenneth. He pulled back & gave me a confused look, but I just gave him a small smile. "Come on. Let's get home. Angel misses you." He nodded & I got in the car. He got in on the passenger side & I pulled off.

"So how you holding up babygirl?" He asked putting his hand on my thigh.

"Better than I was around this time last month." That was actually the truth, I was getting better coping with our baby's death but the guilt from kissing Kenneth made me still just as bad as I did when it happened.

"That's good. I'm so sorry I wasn't here to help comfort you."

"It's fine Michael. You're here now & that's all that matters." He nodded. "How are you, by the way? You're just so happy & positive. It's good to see you in a good mood." Even though it might not last long.

"Rehabilitation really helped me. It helped me with the pills, my eating habits & my pain. I'm glad Liz did this for me." I nodded & it got quiet. My thoughts started to eat me up again. I guess Michael noticed because he spoke up again. "Baby are you alright? You seem really quiet & distant. Is it still about the baby? You know you can tell me anything." Lord here come the waterworks again. Tired of my emotional ass. I took a deep breath wiping some tears that came out. Michael looked worried. "Baby?"

"Michael I love you so much. I'm so in love with you & you're the only man I want. You know that right?"

"Yeah. Bubble butt just tell me whats wrong." I took another deep breath to keep myself from bawling.

"On Angel's birthday, when we rented out Disneyland, Kenneth came up there. We got on the 'It's A Small World' Ride, and we were talking. I started crying & he comforted me. I was vulnerable & so I.. we..." I couldn't even finish cause I was about to start crying hard. I sucked in a breath & looked at Michael. He had removed his hand from my thigh & looked at me in disgust.

"You had sex on a ride at Disneyland?"

"NO!! No. Michael, we just kissed."

"Oh," His face turned from disgusted to hurt. "Oh." He turned away from me & looked out the window. I sighed.

"Are you mad?"

He laughed. And not no 'haha funny' laugh. It was an angry laugh. "Mad? No. Pissed? Hell yes. Hurt? Fuck yes." He turned to me & his eyes were dark. "So while i'm in rehab, that's what you do? You kiss another man?"