Love Lives Forever

Chapter 92: I Dream Of You

December 23rd, 2009

Alana POV

1:27 AM

Christmas was two days away & I wouldn't be out in time to celebrate with my children. I was sad, but I knew the best gift for them was to me to get better so we would never have to go through this again. Hopefully I would be out for new years but that was highly unlikely too. I wanted to make sure I was really healthy & would never resort to drugs again so I would stay as long as possible.

The with drawl part was a bitch but I made it. Now im slowly getting my sleeping schedule back. The latest I stay up to is like two. But honestly, i'm starting to get a little sleepy now. So, I let my thoughts roam free and drifted into sleep.

***

I woke up in some other place that was definitely not rehab. Actually it wasn't my current home either. It was the home I shared with Michael for many years. It was Neverland. I sat up looking around. What was this? Was it some type of dream? Please don't tell me this is another nightmare.

I got out of the bed & walked out of the room. It was quiet. I decided to silently explore the house, trying to see if I could figure out what was going. I decided to start downstairs first. I headed down the stairs & was about to head to Michael's favorite spot (the studio) until I saw the front door was open. I walked over to close it but then I heard him.

Your love is magical, that's how I feel
But I have not the words here to explain
Gone is the grace for expressions of passion
But there are worlds and worlds of ways to explain
To tell you how I feel...

I followed the beautiful voice that I had come accustomed to straight to the giving tree and saw Michael sitting in the tree. He was dressed in all white & glowing. My eyes filled with tears. It had been months since I dreamed about him, and he definitely wasn't dressed in all white so I knew this wasn't a nightmare. He looked good, healthy, happy. He grinned down at me.

"Hello beautiful," He said, making me blush. Then climbed down the tree & walked over to me reaching his hand out. "Want to take a walk?" I nodded & slowly moved my hand to grab his hand. He laughed & grabbed my hand making me gasp.

"I can touch you..."

"Of course. This isn't one of them nightmares you've been having."

"So you know about them?" I asked as we started walking.

"Of course. I've been watching. The devil was working hard. But we all knew he wasn't going to win."

"But he won with you..." I said sadly. He sighed.

"Not quite..." I furrowed my eyebrows.

"What does that mean?"

"You'll see." I groaned & stopped.

"You're speaking in code. Just like Jacob was. Is this another near death experience?"

"Of course not. It's a dream." We started walking again.

"What's the difference?"

"Jacob was there for your near death experience. I'm in your dream."

"And?" He chuckled.

"Time will definitely tell why." He winked. I rolled my eyes knowing I wouldn't get anything out of him. We walked to the pond & sat down.

"Wait!! Won't you get dirty?" He laughed.

"I should be asking you the same thing." He motioned at me. I looked down.

"Hm. I didn't even notice I was wearing white." He smiled at me then it got quiet. It was nice. Peaceful.

"You know I miss you right Michael? Me & the kids." He looked over at me sadly.

"I miss yall too."

"Then why did you leave?" He sighed.

"You'll know in due time." I scoffed.

"That's what you told me before you died."

"Yeah & i'm still telling you that now. It's not time for you to figure out the truth yet."

"Well when will it be time?" He looked over at me.

"Soon. But let's not discuss that. I just want to focus on right now." I nodded as I felt a couple of tears slip. Michael looked over at me with tears in his eyes too. "Come here," I went into his open arms and he rocked me as we both cried.

"I love you so much Alana. For all time & eternity."

"I love you too Michael." It started to get quiet again, with the occasional sniffing from one of us. Then I started to get sleepy.

"You sleepy baby?"

"Yeah but I don't want you to go."

"I'm not going nowhere. I'm always in your heart."

"But I want to be in your arms."

"I will baby. Some day we'll be reunited and nothing will ever separate us again." I sighed, knowing it was almost time for me to go. "I love you Alana," He said one last time.

"I love you too," I said closing my eyes.

Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by...

If you smile
With your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just...

"Don't do that," I said opening my eyes. He chuckled.

"Do what?"

"Sing me to sleep. I'm used to you singing to me to wake me up."

"I am singing to wake you up. You have to wake up from this dream right?"

"Sadly," I mumbled. He kissed my hand. "Well if you're going to sing, something less sad. Sing 'Speechless'."

"Anything for my queen." I smiled closing my eyes again.

Your love is magical, that's how I feel
But I have not the words here to explain
Gone is the grace for expressions of passion
But there are worlds and worlds of ways to explain
To tell you how I feel
But I am speechless, speechless
That's how you make me feel
Though I'm with you I am far away and nothing is for real
When I'm with you I am lost for words, I don't know what to say
My head's spinning like a carousel, so silently I pray
Helpless and hopeless, that's how I feel inside
Nothing's real, but all is possible if God is on my side
When I'm with you I am in the light where I cannot be found...

***

Michael's voice faded away as I woke back up in reality. I looked over at the clock. 7:45 am. I sighed sitting up. I looked up to the ceiling.

"Thank you. I really needed that." I was sad but I got the comfort I needed. Not the closure, I probably would never get that. But I felt so much better & I knew things would definitely get easier. Thank you God & thank you Michael.

The End

I hope you enjoyed 'Love Lives Forever' & I also hope you know im lying. LOL. Next chapter coming soon.