Trying to Face the Truth

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I slept with my closet door open last night,

Having glimpsed happiness, hope, joy.

I wanted to face the man with the butcher knife,

Though a figment of my wild imagination

He represents something else these days,

As a child he represented the fear of the unknown,

What lies lurking in the dark.

Now, he represents my pain, my sadness

He is all of my weaknesses,

Things that I myself am not particularly proud of,

Like how sad I get,

How I have let the sadness take over me.

I run from the truth,

Not just because that it hurts me inside,

Instead because that I just do not know what to do

With the truth.

Last night I slept with my closet door open,

I had brought up the courage to face him,

I finally wanted to face my fears.

Wanting to start getting better,

I thought that I always wanted to get better,

And I did,

I just could not face

The man in the closet.

Now, do not go on think that it is over,

And of you- the hurting, the pained.

There is no cure-all

I know that I may continue falling down,

That I may have not hit rock bottom just yet,

Or I may just start my way climbing back out

To the road that leads out of sadness and pain and into happiness.

This long and hard road,

It is filled with pain, acceptance, and fear.

I will have my bad days where I just want to get over them,

Hell I may have more bad days than good days.

I will have good days where I take a tiny step forward

The journey is not over,

It has just begun.

I know that this idea can be filled with false hope,

I know that my thinking and joy could be credulous thoughts

But I was not afraid last night,

I ached for joy and happiness as I shut my eyes,

Most importantly I confronted my fears

And I was not afraid.

I do not know if it was one simple thing that you said,

Or a strand of things that you kept saying

Maybe it just was the fact that I always feel like you are there for me,

You have not judged me yet

You listen, and I am heard.

Maybe it is silly, me putting my trust in you,

But I do not think that this is the case.

I gave you my trust

And you gave me hope.

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Some of you will not understand the true meaning of the poem from my usage of metaphors and such. And, I am sorry if you have no clue what I am talking about, the basics are when I was younger I feared that there was a man with a knife in my closet, like it wasn't this huge 'ol fear but I just feared it. I cannot give more of an explaination than that, it is just like the monster under my bed thing. The man in my closet metaphorically represents things in my life that I am afraid of.

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