Had I known How to Save a Life

Let's Try Again

Chapter 22
*Meredith POV*

Part of life is to fail. We all know this. We all don't like it. We resent failure. We shoot for success. And of course, we all know the only way to succeed is to once have failed. The thing is, failure leaves us broken and lost. If we get a chance to try again, to have a re-do most people would jump at it. Especially surgeons. When we make mistakes, when we fail; people die. But outside the O.R. we are different people, we're ordinary people. Failure teaches us sometimes. We learn from our mistakes. The thing about the real world is, are we willing to make the same mistake twice?

I stare at Derek. He's perfect. He's my McDreamy. I can't sleep when Ellis kicks. It's like world war 3 is going on in there. I just want to have sex. Instead, I crawl out of bed to go pee.

When I crawl back in, I lie on my side and pretend to sleep because Derek woke up and it's 2:34 AM.

He wraps his arms around me and keeps them on my tummy. He thinks I'm asleep so he's feeling Ellis kick. He loves it. I can feel him smiling. And that makes me smile.

"Mer" he says. I turn my head to him.

"I know you're awake." He says again.

"Yeah. It's hard to sleep when you pee ever 5 minutes." I tell him.

"The kids are asleep. Amelia is at Owen's. We're all alone." He says.

I know exactly what he's implying. And I like it. When we got home we tried to but Zola was up.

"Let's try again." I say.

So we begin to make out passionately. Derek unbuttons my shirt. I take of his. And well, all I can really say is that was pretty damn good pregnant sex.

We finally finish around 4. "So, I was thinking. A while after Ellis is born like a year or two is maybe-"
I stop him right there. He's crazy. We're both surgeons and we have our hands tied with 2 children let alone a 3rd on the way.

"Derek, I swear to God, Ellis will be our last baby. We work, full time. Plus do you know what these 9 months are like. Hell. Actual hell." I tell him.

He starts to laugh. "Just an idea."

*Arizona POV*

I don't know what to do. Callie told me she wants to try again. But I'm scared. I love her, I've never stopped loving her. She's my soul mate. She's my one true love. What if she leaves me again. I mean she is one of the most indecisive people I've ever met. I never went home, I'm on call. And I just didn't know what to do. So I stayed at the hospital.

I need to find Callie. I want to make this work. I want her. When I see her with these other women or breaks my heart.

Suddenly I'm getting paged 9-1-1 to the Pit for a kid with a femur fracture. Yes. It's Ortho.

I see Callie and my heart races. We get x-Rays on our patients. It's the perfect moment right now. We've got plenty of time.

I pull her into a supply closet.

"Callie. Y-you were saying stuff last week. And I admit I have been avoiding because I didn't know what to think. But then I realized that I'm in love you. And I don't want to see you with any women or man except for me. So let's-let's try again. I want us to try again." I announce to her.

Her face lights up.

"Let's try again." She says with her amazingly perfect smile.

*Meredith POV*

"Derek talked about having another baby after this." I tell Alex and Maggie.

"Aw that's awesome," Maggie says.

No. No it's not. It is not awesome Maggie.

"Have fun with that." Alex says.

"I mean, do you know how hard it is being pregnant. I'm tired all the time. I'm fat. I cannot do it any more." I say.

"Oh Meredith stop it. You're not fat. You have a baby inside you. And you're glowing." Maggie says trying to make me feel better.

"Yeah yeah." I say.

Alex goes to check on a patient and suddenly my pager beeps. One of my patients is coding.

I haul butt down to the man's room. We had him on damage control. I guess it's time we get him back into the O.R.

"Edwards call the O.R., tell them my damage control guy is coming." I order her.

We rush him up there. I page Richard to help me because this is pretty complicated.

He walks in 5 minutes later and says "what do we got Grey?".

"We had to do damage control earlier he was hemorrhaging really bad. So we're trying to avoid triad of death. Guy got hit by a car." I tell him.

Richard, Edwards, and I are able to stop the bleeding and repair all the damage. Right as we think we're done, he codes.

"Paddles."
"Charge to 300" "Clear" I say.

Dammit. Come on Jimmy. Come on. Now is not the time to stop fighting.

The patients name is James but he likes to be called Jimmy.

It's not working. "Let's try again, dammit."

"Charge to 360! Clear!" I yell again.

His heart begins to beat again.

"Nice work today Grey. Nice work." Webber tells me.

"Edwards, you did good." He says to Stephanie.

Surgeries like that are what make my day.

Sometimes a second chance isn't all that bad. There are things worth the risk. And if we fail again, we know one more thing not to do and it gets us one step closer to the right thing to do. Second chances, are the things that can change your life.

I go into the cafeteria to get some food because I'm starving. I sit down with Maggie, Bailey, and Arizona. "Yeah so Callie and I are getting back together." Arizona says.

Edwards and Wilson are sitting at the table across from us. They're basically the next Christina and I.

Alex comes rushing through the doors. He runs up me and says "Mer come quick it's Bailey."

My heart drops. My son. Bailey. He's hurt. What's wrong with him. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.

I leave all my stuff there and starting rushing out. "What the hell happened?" I demand.

"Just come on!" He yells. We are heading to the Pit.

Tears are welling up in my eyes. There's something wrong my son. He's hurt and in pain or sick.

Oh my God.