Had I known How to Save a Life

Finish Line

Chapter 46
*Derek POV*

As surgeons, we'd do whatever it takes to save a life. We stay up all night long just to make sure our patient is alive. We go above and beyond. We spend 24 hours on our feet in an operating room to see them live another day. Although, we have a job of exhaustion, there is a point in surgery where we know we can take a breath. We know our patient is okay. We call it the finish line.

I've never liked doing things by the books. I like creating my own path. I've been publishing my work lately, how I remove impossible tumors. Although, Amelia is starting to get good too. When she removed Nicole Herman's tumor.

I start my day by wrapping my arms around my wife. And breathing in that intoxicating smell of her hair. Lavender.

"Morning." I say with a smile.

"Morning." She says.

"You know tomorrow is the Friday. You might get the call." She tells me.

"I doubt it. Plus, we all saw from Cristina that I won't win." I tell her.

"You never know." She says optimistically.

We get the kids ready and head into work together. I go onto rounds. Edwards and Wilson are on my service. I heard Edwards was really good and Herman's surgery. Let's see if she actually is.

We go into our patients room. Edwards presents. "Blake Easton, 19 years old, diagnosed with glioblastoma, has undergone radiation and chemotherapy with no success."

"Wilson, what is the other name for a glioblastoma?" I ask her.

"Butterfly tumor." She says.

"So, Dr. Shepherd, you think you can actually remove Blake's tumor? I mean, we've seen about 10 other neurosurgeons. None of them would even go near it." Who I assume is his mom say.

"Most surgeons wouldn't go near a tumor like Blake's, but I'm not like most surgeons. I've seen worse tumors. And I think I can get the whole thing." I say.

We go into surgery in about 20 minutes so I have Wilson take him to pre-op. This tumor is huge. I've been doing a lot of those later. And I've been publishing more often because I don't think every inoperable tumor is inoperable just because one neurosurgeon says so. I want the world to know that.

I put on my favorite scrub cap. I see Meredith in the hallway and she smiles and gives me a good luck kiss. She stands on her tippy toes and puts her hand on my chest. And the kiss is quick and soft.

I head into surgery. As I stand in front of the table. I smile and say, "It's a beautiful day to save lives."

The gallery is filled, Webber, Hunt, Torres, Karev, Robbins, Maggie, Avery, Kepner, Meredith. They're all up there. Amelia is in surgery with me. Tumors like these don't always come around. Wilson is assisting, I want to see if she is any good.

We get into Blake's head. I never had a precise plan of how I'm going to start this...I guess I'll just wing it. Wilson is in charge of helping irrigation.

Hours and hours pass. In the beginning I kind of just stood there playing scenarios in my head of the different moves I can take. There's at least 4 hours left. "Wilson, why don't you take a break?" Amelia asks her.

"No thanks, I'm good." She responds.

"You realize we've been at this for 10 hours? You've been on your feet for a while. You haven't eaten. Which you probably need to do." Amelia tells her.

They begin talking more and I stay quiet and focus. I can begin to see the tumor more. Until the bleeding starts getting bad. "Suction!" I yell.

"Wilson get in there with that suction." I tell her. I cauterize the bleeder. So that battle is done for now.

I look around the OR, "Alright people, we're here. We're at the finish line," I whisper.

"Finish line?" Edwards asks from the back.

I explain the metaphor. "The finish line. You know, when you're winning the race and you've been killing your self the whole time just to win. Just to cross the finish line. It's the same in brain surgery, when we've been racing all this way just to get to the point of the surgery where the tumor is out." I begin.

Amelia finishes it. "It's the part where you can take a deep breath. The climax is over. It's the part where you know you've won the race."

Amelia helps as I remove the glioblastoma from a 19 year olds head. Now he can go back to a normal life. I smile at the fact that we had a good outcome. I hate to sound cocky but I know I am one of the best neurosurgeons in the country, but it's amazing this feeling you get. After you save someone's life.

You are the one who gave them their second chance. The high you feel after you get out of a surgery like this, is the kind you should shoot for.

*5 AM*

I got home at 1 AM. I didn't go to sleep. Meredith and I stayed up all night. Talking and well, having sex. They won't call. I doubt it. Even if I do get the call, I won't win. It'll be a set up. Just like they did yang.

"They're going to call." Meredith says.

"Even if they do, it's not going to mean anything." I tell her.

Zola runs into the room, "Daddy did they call?" This makes me smile.

I decide to be optimistic. "Not yet." I tell her.

Meredith says its 5:01. My heart begins to race. Why am I nervous they won't call if I know I won't win?

And then the phone begins to ring. It's 5:02.

"Oh my God. Oh my God." I say.

Meredith says, "Derek! Answer!"

I pick up the phone and bring it to my ear. "Hello?" I say.

The man on the phone asks if I am Dr. Derek Shepherd. "Yes, this is Dr. Shepherd." I respond.

"Congratulations, you have been nominated for the Harper Avery Award!" He tells me.

"Thank you, sir. It's such an honor." I tell him. And the conversation ends.

"I got nominated!" I tell Meredith and Zola.

"Yay, daddy!" Zola says. Meredith gives me a kiss. "I'm so proud of you."

Meredith's phone rings. It's Cristina. "Hey! Derek got the nomination!!" She begins to say cheerfully. Then her face goes blank.

"Wait, what? Seriously?! Cristina that's amazing!" She says. I wonder what they are talking about.

Once Meredith gets off the phone, she says, "Cristina got nominated too."

Our job is demanding. It asks for 120%. Sometimes, even our best just isn't enough. Other times, after everything we've given. Everything we've sacrificed. After we've put our blood, sweat, and tears into it. It finally pays off, when we cross the finish line.

Author note: I'm never had this chapter planned...until I had a crazy idea. So anyway, Derek and Cristina are both nominated for the Harper Avery Award. And honestly, I think you all will be a little shocked when you find out who wins!! So, I am stating school on Monday (10th grade!). Really looking forward to this year. Although, I'm going to to be super super busy soon. Between AP classes, softball, and Navy JROTC. I'm going to try and update as much as I can but it won't be as often anymore. :( BUT, I love you guys so much. And I love writing this story!

~Erin :)