Had I known How to Save a Life

Feel My Heartbeat

Chapter 60
*Jo POV*

Surgery is dangerous, every surgeon knows this. That's the easiest way to put it. We cut you up, mess around with your insides, and put you back together again. It's a game of life or death. Making a mistake, even the smallest, even one just barely off; is the difference between life or death.

Today is the day. We're having surgery. All the days leading up I wasn't as nervous as I am right now.

I get dressed and I look in the mirror, I see a person who I don't recognize. I never pictured myself as a mom. I never pictured this life. Alex hugs me from behind and suddenly everything is okay just for a moment.

I thought it would be easier today, since well, I am a surgeon. I know what happens. I know how everything works. But I also know how everything goes wrong. It's so different on the other side.

*Alex POV*

She's about to go into surgery, I'm looking at her from the doorway, but she doesn't know I'm here. She's in her own little world right now.

Jo is sitting up in the bed, and I think I hear her praying. I've never heard Jo pray.

"God, Jesus, whoever you are; I don't know if you can hear me. I don't know if you're out there or not. But if you are, please, keep her safe. I know Dr. Robbins is an amazing surgeon but if anything goes wrong in there, please keep her safe." I can hear her whisper.

My pager beeps and she turns and sees me standing at the door. Robbins shows up cause it's time to take Jo to surgery.

I go into the OR with them. And I know I'm about to be told to leave. Before I do that, I whisper to Jo, "I love you and every thing is going to be okay. I'll see you when it's over. And the 3 of us are gonna be okay."

I kiss her as Arizona begins to wheel her away.

I can feel my heartbeat begin to race as I see her go through the doors.

*Arizona POV*

Wilson is on the table ready to be put under. She's very nervous about the surgery. I mean, she has every reason to.

We're about to give her the anesthesia, but she pushes it away. "Promise me something?" She whispers.

"If anything goes wrong and we don't make it out, make sure Alex is okay. Please just make sure he's okay." She asks of me.

"Okay. I will, now, will you promise me something?" I ask her.

"Of course," she says.

"If for any reason you start to see the 'light' do not go towards it. In fact, run like hell in the opposite direction." I say to her.

"In a few more months, you'll get to meet a little girl who will change your whole world." I add. She smiles and we put her under.

The operation begins. It's simple. Amniotic bands are rare but so are a lot of other things. We're using probes to take down the bands, hopefully if all goes well, we won't have to open her up at all.

I told Alex he can sit in the gallery if he'd like, but he's not allowed to be alone. Meredith is sitting with him right now.

I successfully take down the band wrapped around her leg. Now it's time for the arms.

It's difficult moving through with the probe because the bands are so close arteries. I am continually checking the gallery. Everyone is in there now. All our friends, even Jackson and April came in to be here for Alex.

As I am taking down the second of thee bands, her pressure drops and she's coding. And I have no idea why. Meredith takes Alex outside.

"Wilson what the hell" I whisper under my breath.

I can feel my heartbeat go crazy just like the sound the monitor is making.

*Alex POV*

I left the gallery. Well technically, Mer made me leave. Her pressure dropped but I heard she's doing okay now.

"She's going to be okay, you know that right?" Mer tells me.

"What if she isn't? What if I lose the both of them?" I begin to say.

"I thought I knew what love was, when I was with Izzie. Then I met Jo and everything changed. Like the whole meaning of the damn word. And then she told me she was pregnant. And it's like the sun stopped being the center of the universe. She is. She doesn't even a name yet and I can't live with out her. I can't live without either of them." I say.

Mer laughs a little. "Do you want to know what you're being right now?"

"Bitch baby? Wimp?" I ask.

"A father." Meredith tells me.

*Arizona POV*

Pierce was in the gallery and she scrubbed in to see what is going on, "Did you knick an artery?" Pierce asks.

"No, I think would've known if I had done that." I say.

"There is a lot of blood though, we need some suction in here." I add.

Suddenly, her heart stops. As her heart stops I can feel mine sink into my stomach. We're losing her.

"Starting CPR!" Maggie proclaims.

Maggie whispers in my ear, "If a miracle is going to happen, it's gotta happen right now. Alex is in the doorway of the gallery."

Her heart starts again and we all take a deep breath. "Wilson, good job giving us all a heart attack."

Throughout the rest of the surgery, there's no more issues. I am able to take down the last amniotic band, this little baby girl inside of Jo is healthy.

Now just a few more months till they get to meet.

*Jo POV*

I wake up lying on my side. Feeling her kick, usually it gets a little annoying when she kicks me a thousand times in a row. But now it's the best feeling in the whole world.

I turn around and Alex is lying his head on the bed. His eyes are red and puffy, he's been crying. He's asleep I think, our little girl begins to kick again, so I move his hand over on my abdomen. He wakes up with a smile.

"Don't do it ever again," he says half awake.

"What do you mean?" I ask confused.

"Your heart stopped beating. You're not allowed to die on me again. Especially not with her inside of you." He tells me.

I put his hand on my chest over my heart. "Feel my heartbeat. I'm not going anywhere. And neither is she."

Author Note:

Okay so like this update was supposed to happen like 2 weeks ago, but it wanted it to be really climatic (not sure I even achieved that) so I took me longer than usual. Then school again and I got super busy!! So sorry! Hope you liked this update, I love you all!

-Erin :)