Had I known How to Save a Life

I Won't Leave

Chapter 4
*Derek POV*

I can hear Meredith crying. She says, "Please wake up. Please wake up. Derek I need you. I was wrong. I can't live without you. Please come back to me."

Meredith I'm here. I'm here. I'm alive. I'm here. I won't leave. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. I'm alive. Meredith, I love you.

"Please come back. I need to tell you something. And I can't do this without you. Derek, please come back to me." She whispers as she's holding my hand.

Had I never gone to DC, I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't be in this bed, hooked up to all these machines, with this tube in my throat. My wife wouldn't be by my bedside crying, scared to death.

I flutter my eyes open slowly, I see the ceiling of a room in the ICU, I remember seeing. I think I'm at our hospital. The last place I was at find look anything like this.

Meredith is by my bedside. She's lying her head on my arm. I think she's asleep. I want to wake her. But there's no doubt she's exhausted. Meredith is beautiful. I'm thankful I'm alive. She is more than I could ever ask for. I stare at her, I'm going to wait for her to wake up.

A nurse comes in and takes the tube out of my throat because I'm awake. Meredith is still sleeping so she doesn't know I'm awake yet.

I'm trying to remember what happened. I remember the people that I saved. There was 4 of them 2 teenagers, and a mother and daughter. I hope they're all okay. The hospital we were at was definitely not a trauma center. I'm lucky to be alive. Had they not taken my to get head scan I would've been dead. I can feel stitches over my abdomen so I had surgery there too. Every part of my body hurts right now. Even the parts that don't hurt, hurt. But I'm here. I'm alive. My children have their dad. My wife has her husband. And if a little pain is the price to have all that, I would gladly pay again.

It feels so much better to have one less machine hooked up to me. I slip my hand into Meredith's, her head lifts up alerted. She's so beautiful. Everything about her. I don't know what I'd do with out her.

I am lucky to be alive. I'm lucky to have her. I'm lucky to have children with her. I'm so incredibly lucky.

"Meredith, I'm never leaving. I won't leave you ever again." I tell her as a smile enraptures my face.

Her face is enraptured with the same smile as mine.

*Meredith POV*

Oh my god! He's awake. He has his memory. He remembers me. He has his memory.

I kiss him passionately. Like as if I it's the last time I'd ever see him again.

"Derek, when I said I could live without you but I didn't want to; that was a lie. I can't live without you. I love you so much." I tell him. Tears running down my face.

"I love you too Mer." He says.

I kiss him again. This time it's longer. I hold it until I have to come up for air.

I begin to tell him what happened to him. "You were in an accident. You were taking a short cut to the air port. And there was a huge crash, 2 teenagers, and a mom and daughter. You saved all of their lives. Then when they were taken away in ambulances, you got hit by an 18 wheeler."

"I need to ask you something." I say. "Of course anything." He says. "Remember when you said you wanted more? You said you wanted to have another baby?" I ask him.

"Yes. And I told you that you were like coming up for fresh air. Like I was drowning and you saved me. Before you say anything, I want you to know, you've always been my fresh air and you always will be," he says.

"And, if you don't want more, that's okay. If we have each other. That's all we need." Derek adds. My face changes. What if he doesn't want another one now? My heart beats deeper. It's his fault I'm pregnant and now he's saying we don't have to have one. Although, I'm sure he wouldn't say that if he knew...I take a deep breath. About to tell him that we will in fact be having more.

"Derek...I'm pregnant." I tell him crying.

"We're going to have another baby?!" Derek says tears in his eyes and a smile from ear to ear.

"Yes Derek, we're going to have another baby." I say smiling. And I kiss him

His reaction is the best. He was shocked. I guess he didn't think it would work the first time. It never did before. He kisses my forehead. "I can't tell you how much I love you." He says.

"You don't have too, I already know." I say.

I continue to sit by his bedside as I drift off again.

At the end of the day, we have to look at what we have. Appreciate it. Think of what your life would be like with out it. You never know when it can disappear. So appreciate the now, because forever doesn't always last forever.