𝓛𝓮𝓸𝓷 𝓚𝓮𝓷𝓷𝓮𝓭𝔂| ɪᴍᴀɢɪɴᴇꜱ ʙᴏᴏᴋ 4

Destroying in the Name of Duty

AN: Since you all love the heart-wrenching angst, here's one that's both sad and fluffy!

-----------------------------------------------------

I limp uphill towards the summit with Leon's arm wrapped around my shoulders, the rocky terrain doesn't help my injured ankle nor does the cold breeze that stings the cut across my cheekbone, both injuries are thanks to some crazed man named Krauser who claimed to be Leon's ex-mentor and close friend. My breathing becomes rapid from the struggle, I keep sneaking glances at the solemn blonde man guiding me, Leon's eyes are staring straight ahead, he's lost in his own dark thoughts after having to kill the man he once looked up to. I wish I could support him in anyway, I'd give anything to take away that guilt he feels or the regret of not being able to change Krauser's mind, but right now my own heavy mind weighs me down. I'm in no state to give comfort. 

"It's just a little further." Leon grunts, taking most of my weight as my injured ankle drags across the floor. It's not broken, but possibly sprained. One second Leon and I were walking through the ruins, the next Krauser had me flying through the air and landing in the worst way possible. I swallow at Leon's words, knowing he's at least trying to find some kind of determination, he's hellbent on saving the president's daughter, but I'm slowly losing my resolve. We continue up the rocky path for another minute or so, our pace agonisingly slow, until all of a sudden a flare of pain flashes through my head. I gasp, unable to keep myself up as my body becomes limp and not my own. 

"Give in to the solace, let your mind go, let that hurt go. You must allow things to be as they should, don't fight what's best for you. For the world." Saddler's voice cuts through my mind. I see him in front of me, kneeling down on the ground and reaching out, his hand hovers over my cheek as if a father is tending to his child. I feel tears spring to my eyes, the weight of my burdens finally crush me, and I nod to Saddler, opening my mouth to finally agree and let him take my pain, but the moment is interrupted by the brief sound of Leon frantically shouting my name. I frown, remembering he's with me, and that he'd never let me go. Leon wouldn't sit back and let me give in to the temptation, he'd pull be back even if I was kicking and screaming, he's a protector, my unwanted guardian angel. Just as quickly as it came the vision disappears, and I find myself back on the cliffside, the harsh ocean crashes against the rocks to my side as Leon crouches in front of me, hands shaking my shoulders as I blink and come to. 

"Y/N! Come back to me!" Leon worriedly begs. I lick my lips, tasting the salt from my tears. When he sees that I'm here and not in some other place his shoulders slump, he lets out a sigh of relief, but it's short lived as something wet trickles from my nose. My brows knit together as I reach up and wipe it away, seeing red on the back of my hand. Leon curses, but I can't find it in me to care that I'm slowly being taken over by the Plaga. A weakness comes over me, I settle back on my ankles, not feeling the twinge of pain as my injured one takes my weight. 

"I can't keep fighting it, Leon." I whisper, words barely audible. Leon hears me though, he nods as if trying to convince me. 

"We'll get rid of the parasites in time, it'll be-" He says, but I interrupt him, shaking my head as I stare downcast at the jagged rocks beneath me. 

"I'm not talking about the mission, I mean everything. What if Saddler's right? Maybe it'll be easier to be controlled by the Plaga, that way I don't have to feel guilty, or scared, or angry at the world." I shrug, glancing up to see Leon's eyes slowly widen. His lips part in shock at my confession. A steely look crosses his features as he reaches out and cups my cheeks, his thumbs brushing away the stray tears still falling. 

"That's just Saddler talking, he's getting into your head." 

I let out a small laugh, turning my head towards the brutal, grey ocean. The stormy skies make the whole scene look apocalyptic. My body begins to tremble as I use all my strength to stand up, I wobble as Leon follows, holding out a hand as if to reach for me if I fall. "No Leon, it's not." I reply to his assumption. My throat tightens but I've got to get the words out. "Don't you get sick if the killing and destroying in the name of duty and protection? Who are we really saving if we just keep storming on and assassinating everyone who disagrees with us?  We're no better than the people we fight." Leon stalks towards me quicker than lightning, he takes my hands in his gloved ones, leaning down to meet my eyes, but I'm not done. "Isn't it better to di-" I begin, but abruptly I'm cut short with Leon's lips crashing against mine. 

I'm too shocked to react to begin with, I let Leon's arm snake around my back, tugging me closer as his lips try to bring me to life. After a few beats I finally gasp and kiss him back with an urgency I didn't know I had in me. Our mouths dance together, quickly finding a rhythm as he shows no signs of pulling away or letting me go. The kiss is a mixture of gentle yet passionate, it switches between long, lingering movements to smaller pecks, until after a lifetime Leon draws back, releasing his arm trapping me to him. Instead he lifts a hand, grazing his knuckles down my unhurt cheek as his lips lift upwards just the smallest amount. I'm breathless and my heart races, I'm unable to do anything as I stare at him, all words allude me. 

"Do you feel that?" Leon softly asks. A confused look crosses my face as I go to shake my head. 

"What?" I whisper in return. Leon's smile only grows at my question. 

"The feeling of being wanted. Your heart's racing, and your breath is quicker than before. You feel shocked, and hopefully good about me kissing you." I take a second to try and assess my feelings, then realise he's got me completely figured out. My lips part as if wanting to say something, but no words come to mind. Leon leans in again, pressing tiny kisses to the side of my mouth, then my cheek, slowly grazing underneath my ear. It all sends my stomach upside down, fluttering and wobbly. "Yeah, our job sometimes is worse than it should be," He murmurs, "and it scares the hell out of us. We do things we don't want to and most of the time there's no choice but to comply, but we are doing good." 

I huff at his words, finally mustering the courage to speak. "How do you know that?" I argue. Leon grabs my chin, straightening up as he tilts my head upwards to meet his gaze. Slowly he presses his forehead to mine, faces inches from each other, but he doesn't kiss me again. There's a breeze, sending a shiver through me, but Leon's body guards me from the spray of the salty ocean mist. 

"Imagine a world where Saddler wins. Close your eyes and think of Ashley hurting more people, remember that look on her face back at the castle when she grabbed my knife from me. How do you think she felt, knowing she was a puppet? She was still in there, and she saw everything that was happening. She must've been terrified, not knowing what she'd be forced to do next, all she could do is let it happen. She couldn't even react to it, not outwardly." Leon roughly whispers, "Do you want that to be you? Do you really want to let someone else choose for you? Do you want to hide your humanity from the world?" 

I gulp, feeling a sob arise within me. I shake my head, as his words hit every single on of their targets in my chest. Deep down I know that I don't want Saddler to win. I don't want to let the pain and hurt consume me, and though it hurts, it's my hurt. Without the bad I can't see the good. If I didn't feel all this festering torment I wouldn't have gotten to feel the uplifting feeling of hope that Leon's given me. I've been so, so wrong. "I-I'm sorry." I sob, darting forwards to bury my face into Leon's chest. Without hesitation he embraces me back, chin resting on the top of my head as I let all of my built up pain explode. Leon holds me through it all, stroking my hair and shushing me. He sways, lulling me into a sense of calm and peace. 

"It's alright," He says, voice cracking on my behalf, "I've been there, and I know how you feel, but you won't be alone like I was. I'm here with you and I'm feeling it all with you. As long as you're still feeling, it means you're still you, and that's all you ever need to be." 

I nod, giving him one last squeeze before I pull away and sniffle, wiping my nose and eyes. I take a few deep breaths, looking back towards the stormy skies and ocean battering the rocks. For a brief second there's a small parting in the clouds, showing the starry sky beyond, it's beautiful, dark but still shining. It disappears within a blink, but it's still there underneath the storm clouds. When I look back at Leon he's got a hand outstretched towards me, offering me help once more. I give him a small smile, linking our fingers together as we head back up towards the summit to save Ashley and save the world.