𝓛𝓮𝓸𝓷 𝓚𝓮𝓷𝓷𝓮𝓭𝔂| ɪᴍᴀɢɪɴᴇꜱ ʙᴏᴏᴋ 4

Maybe Then You'll Understand

I grab another potato just as Leon slams the front door behind him, the photos on the wall rattle from the force of it. I arch a brow, patiently waiting as I resume peeling the potatoes whilst Leon toes off his shoes then walks into the kitchen. I wait, giving him time to open up or explain why he's in such a bad mood, but nothing comes. Instead of hugging me as per usual, he steps past me and opens the fridge, grabbing a bottle of water before unscrewing the lid with more force than necessary, resulting in him spilling some of the liquid down his shirt. 

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me." Leon snaps, sighing heavily as he stills for a second as if debating whether to toss it to the other side of the room, then he sets the bottle on the side carefully. He leans his elbows on the counter as he doubles over and takes a few calming breaths. I drop the potato peeler in the sink, wiping my hands quickly before gently lifting Leon's chin with my hand as his icy blue eyes meet my own. There's a storm raging within, an anger that's been bubbling for too long, and whatever's happened today has been the final straw for Leon. I can understand that, I've had days like them myself. 

"Talk to me. Tell me what's got you so wound up?" I softly ask, thumbs smoothing over his jaw as his teeth grit together. Leon shakes his head, standing straighter until he towers over me once more, then he steps out of my hold, needing space. Concern surely is visible in my features, but Leon doesn't show any signs of easing my worries, instead he leans against the counter, reaching into his pocket as he takes out his keys and drops them onto the side with a clang. I watch as he runs a hand through his hair, clearly the strain is getting to him now more than ever. 

"It's nothing," Leon finally answers, voice laced with frustration, "I just wonder why I even bother sometimes, when shit always seems to go wrong. Being an agent is putting your life on the line every single day, but for what? To see people in danger, try to help them whilst putting so man others at risk, and then do it all over again the next day?" Leon lets out a false chuckle, cursing as his chin dips low, "None of it's fucking worth it." With that, Leon's hands clench as he grips the counter. I get the message of him needing to not be touched, so I go back to prepping for dinner, picking up the potato peeler as I think of a reply. 

"It's hard, I understand completely, but if you didn't do your job, then so many more people would be dead or injured. You lose some, but you also save some. Are those lives you've worked so hard to rescue equal to those you've let down?" I murmur, glancing over my shoulder at Leon. His brows knit together in even more frustration, but I can't help but to feel a slight aggravation over his black and white thinking. "It's not like my job is a walk in the park either, Field Office Support has its own pressures. We might not be in the field like you, but we're the ones keeping you alive and making those life or death decisions." I half regret my words the second they're out of my mouth. 

Leon's eyes narrow on me, I can feel the piercing gaze of disbelief aiming for my back. I finish peeling the vegetables then grab a knife, beginning to chop as Leon scoffs and blinks incredulously. "Come on, your job doesn't even compare to mine. Sitting behind a desk all day, talking on the radio? Try being behind a gun instead." Leon argues, tone defensive as my brows shoot to the roof. I turn, gripping the knife as anger surges within me, it never meant to go this way, but I won't ever let anyone disrespect my job and the struggles that come with it- not even my boyfriend and faithful work partner. I give him a glare, both of us in a showdown until I throw out some rope to my patience, my stomach growls at the same time, reminding me of how hungry I am. I turn back to the sink, resuming dinner. 

"I've been there. You've never, not once, been in my shoes. I tell you what, why don't you come to my office in a few days? Spend a work day with me whilst you're on vacation, then you'll see what it's really like. Maybe then you'll quit being selfish and sorry for yourself." I say, my tone even as I tip the chopped vegetables into the pot. Leon's quiet for some time, then finally his own anger gets the better of him.