𝓛𝓮𝓸𝓷 𝓚𝓮𝓷𝓷𝓮𝓭𝔂| ɪᴍᴀɢɪɴᴇꜱ ʙᴏᴏᴋ 4

A Future We Didn't Imagine PT 1| Request

AN: This request does feature a reader who can't have children of her own. The reason isn't mentioned, but just be wary of triggering topics please. At the end they do end up adopting♡
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I finish tidying up after the chaos of the evening. After having our friends and their kids over for a games night, the living room had looked like a warzone by the time the children had begun to be unsettled and sleepy. I smile to myself at the memories of Leon's chuckles and funny voices, and of how well the kids behave with him. The man himself comes back from taking the trash out, then he slumps onto the sofa with a long exhale. I huff a laugh at his drained expression, I know for a fact that being used as a human climbing frame couldn't be as easy as it looked. Leon's face is a picture on contentment as he watches me pick up the last abandoned drawing, I neatly stack it along with the rest on the coffee table, eyes lingering on the stick figures of all of us before I throw myself onto the sofa beside Leon. His arm wraps around my shoulders as I lean into his warmth, there's something so oddly cosy about the moment.

"Those kids are amazing." Leon softly says as I hum in agreement. The silence drags out until he adds "I think ours will get along perfectly with them." The statement comes out in a wistful way, Leon means no offense or even to hurt my feelings, but the words hit me right in the heart all the same. I stiffen, swallowing deeply as I nod noncommittedly, but Leon doesn't seem to get the idea that I don't want to talk about it. "I can imagine our babies would be the cutest, all round faces and chubby little cheeks." He laughs to himself, "Don't you think?"

It's been a conversation that's well overdue, we've been together long enough to now start considering having a family of our own, I know it's one of Leon's biggest dreams, but I've been t afraid to lose him. I've been selfish, and I haven' told him that I can't give him what he really wants. I can't ever have kids, and when Leon finds out I'm so scared he'll regret every second he's wasted being with me. "I'm not sure." I finally mumble sadly, I pull away from Leon as his smile fades, his brows knit together in confusion at my lack of enthusiasm. I've got no choice to withhold the secret now, but I still can't find the right words to tell him. The knife in my heart twists, I've spent so long being hurt by the truth on my own, imagining Leon's reaction only gouges the blade in deeper.

"I know we haven't really talked about the future all that much," Leon quickly says as if to recover from the suddenness, he still thinks I'm scared for a completely different reason, "you always seemed to bristle whenever I brought it up. I just...I think we should talk about it. We're both at a good place, things are settled and we're on top of everything. If any time's perfect to start a family, it's probably going to be now." Leon murmurs, taking my hand in his as my shining eyes find his own. His blue eyes widen at the sight of my unshed tears, his lips part as if he's going to try and smooth over his words, but I interrupt him.

"I know that." I whisper thickly, lip wobbling as my emotions rise to the surface. Leon's face falls as I slip my hand from his, distancing myself as my vulnerabilities make me feel isolated and afraid. Leon tries to reach for me again, but I stand up, turning away from him as he rises to his feet.

"Do you not want to have kids?" Leon asks sounding guilty, "Don't you want to start a family with me?" His voice barely above a whisper as his own self-doubt creeps in. Now he thinks he's the problem. I shake my head, despair and frustration at my own body bubbling over now as I spin towards him with blazing eyes and a burning heart.

"It's not that I don't want to have kids, Leon. It's because I can't have them!" I snap, voice cracking as Leon's eyes widen in shock. He takes a step back, face falling as his lips turn down in a sadness I've never seen on him before. He blinks at me for a few moments, I watch as the realisation hits him. The second it does, my heart splits into two. "I can't get pregnant, no matter what I do or try, I've done so much research on it, I've visited doctors and specialists, but..." I lead off with a sob, clutching my chest as the ache reaches a painful point. Leon stands there speechless, we both stare at the floor as our future crashes down between us.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Leon finally manages to say, his sad eyes lift to mine. Surprisingly I see no judgement or disappointment- at least not in me- there's only question and a shared sense of sorrow. I lift a shoulder, trying once then twice to speak.

"It's so painful, knowing I'll never have a baby of my own. I'll never experience being a mother to a child I've grown. I can't give you the one thing you've always wanted, so now you can leave me, I'm useless if I can't make you a dad, right?" I cry, tears falling down my cheeks. Leon shakes his head, stalking towards me before reaching out and tugging me to his chest. His arms embrace me, holding me together as I finally let out everything I've been holding in. It feels freer to finally admit it, but the sinking feeling will always be with me.

"I'm so sorry," Leon whispers, gently rocking me as he smooths down the back of my hair, "I'm so, so sorry." Leon repeats as I cling to him, "It's not your fault, please don't blame yourself, and don't think that I love you any less, you're not useless, you're not damaged or whatever nonsense you're thinking of yourself. I love you, no matter what. Even if we'll have a future we didn't imagine, I just want a future with you."

I sniffle and wipe my tears, "But-"

Leon presses a finger to my lips, shushing me as he presses his forehead to mine. "There's other ways we can have a family, if you want. We can adopt, or find other means. We'll love them all the same. I don't want a family with anyone other than you, you're my forever." He murmurs, gently kissing my forehead as I close my eyes and nod. The reassurance is much needed, and for the first time I begin to think that maybe there is a way we can still do this.

"I'm sorry for keeping this from you for so long." I say as Leon sits back down and pulls me onto his lap. He cups my cheeks, pecking my lips as I nestle closer to him.

"It's okay, I know it's not an easy thing to say. We'll figure this out, whenever you're ready."

Six Months Later...

The air in the apartment is filled with excitement and anticipation, Leon and I sit opposite each other at the dining table, stacks of papers scatter the table along with pens and important documents. It's been a whirlwind of appointments and research, but today we're finally filling out the paperwork needed to adopt a baby. We're on the brink of officially starting a family of our own- even if it's not the way Leon initially pictured. Leon leans back in his chair as my pen hovers over the final signature, he reaches out, placing a hand on mine.

"Are you sure about this? We can still wait if you want to." He offers, but I shake my head and sign the document, feeling a rush of relief and happiness once it's done. We've waited long enough, and I know we're both ready for this. The second it's done, Leon and I grin at each other.

"We're going to be parents." I whisper, then I repeat it with a squeal, jumping up onto my feet as Leon stands and pulls me into his arms, lifting me as he spins me around with a laugh. It's been a rollercoaster of a journey, and we've still got so much more to go before we can settle with our little girl, but I know that it's worth it. Family isn't always blood, but it's about love and joy, and being willing to do whatever it takes to be together.