𝓛𝓮𝓸𝓷 𝓚𝓮𝓷𝓷𝓮𝓭𝔂| ɪᴍᴀɢɪɴᴇꜱ ʙᴏᴏᴋ 4

Why Am I Still Dreaming of That Night?

AN: Like previous angst imagines, this one has two alternate endings! 

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Leon's POV: 

For the first time in a while it seemed like everything was going to be okay, the rescue mission started off with problem after problem, from locating Y/N to finding out she wasn't where she was supposed to be. I began to doubt myself, I questioned my capabilities and if I was even the right agent for the job, but then I found her, and from that point on her faith and trust in me helped guide me back on track. I didn't feel much better about myself, but I knew I'd do whatever it took to get her home and coddle her back to safety, if it meant getting injured or getting more blood on my hands then I was fine with it. Things begun to make sense once more, and I found strength in her light and laughter. I didn't realise along the way I'd begun to care for her on a deeper level, I didn't want the mission and the time I have with her to be over, and that scared me more than anything.

Y/N trails behind me, the row of lights shining on the dock help us to find our way to the pickup point, where a team will find us and take us back home. My eyes scan the shadows, the pitch black feels even more ominous than usual, especially since we're so close to freedom. The pickup point- a small drop off point for vehicles- comes into view. I finally let myself feel relief as Y/N rushes to keep up with my strides, she joins my side as her eyes shine up at me, that familiar feeling of pride and a flicker of admiration creeps its way into my heart, making my breath catch as her smile grows. The scent of brine doesn't even bother me now that Y/N's perfume is all I can smell, it's intoxicating. 

"Victory at last huh? We've- well you- have taken down the bad guys and rescued the damsel in distress. I can't believe we actually managed to escape, you had me beginning to wonder if we'd both need an extra hand to help us out. Or maybe you just enjoy my company so much and wanted to make the mission last?" She teases, nudging me with her elbow as she wiggles her eyebrows. Her joy and innocence are adorable, and her cheery attitude infectious. 

I chuckle, shaking my head as our steps slow along the dock, beside us the gentle lull of the sea almost puts me at ease. "Maybe," I risk flirting back despite it being wrong, "I never saw you as some kind of damsel though. You're just the daughter of someone important who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I think you handled yourself well though, I really couldn't have done it without you." I softly reply, our steps slow even more until we both come to a stop, we're so close to going home, I can almost feel my cheek against my pillows and the taste of coffee from my desperation to get this over with. Yet I'm stalling. To be with Y/N for a little longer. 

"You wouldn't have had to come save me if it wasn't for me though," Y/N's smile fades as she steps in front of me, she shuffles her feet as my brows knit together, "I'm sorry you had to come save me, but I'm so thankful that I got to meet you." She adds, looking up to meet my eyes. I nod, fingers clenching into a fist as I fight back the urge to reach out and tug her to me, the allure of her lips is too strong, so I turn and keep walking, leaving Y/N trailing behind once more. 

"It's okay, being saved isn't a problem, I'll just have to show you how to throw a decent punch when we get back." 

"More time with me? Now I'm really beginning to think that you like me-" She begins playfully, but cuts off as a strangled gasp escapes her. I spin on my heels, eyes widening as her lips part and blood seeps out. As if in slow motion, I look behind to see a figure all in black step away from behind her, a bloodied knife glinting in the moonlight as Y/N's eyes fill with tears, then she drops to her knees, clutching her side as red decorates her clothes. I hear myself shout her name, but it's all faded and blurry, I raise my shaking hands , snatching my gun and shooting the man as adrenaline surges through me. The man barely has time to move before the three gunshots ring out and he collapses, stumbling backwards until he tips over the railing and into the sea. Shock and fear consume me as time resumes, I sprint to Y/N's side, kneeling as she whimpers and watches me with a terrified expression. 

"I don't get it," She whispers, body trembling as her hands cling to me, I scoop her onto my lap, my hands pressing on her wound that keeps bleeding and bleeding, "I thought we were safe. I thought we did it." She's losing strength already, smaller hands reach up and cup my cheek, leaving a smear of red on my pale skin. I shake, trying to stop the bleeding that refuses to be stopped. 

"We did," I breathe out, "just stay with me and we'll get out of here. Keep your eyes on me, help's coming." I beg, voice cracking with emotion for the girl I've only knew a few days. Confusion and pain laces on her features as she blinks to focus, I grit my teeth, anger surging through me at myself and the world. "It should've been different, I needed it to be different. This wasn't supposed to happen." I look around helplessly, knowing our team is arriving any second now, but they're going to be too late. There's nothing I can do but plead and beg for Y/N to hold on and stay with me. 

"Don't say that, Leon." Y/N whispers shakily, tears welling in her eyes as she gives me a small smile, but it's broken when a whimper releases from her lips, there's nothing but pain in her eyes. "It hurts so much. I'm scared." 

I swear, under my breath, lip wobbling as my strength fades, by now there's a pool of blood around us, it seeps into everything. I pull Y/N closer to my chest, hands loosening as truth reveals itself, instead I press my lips to her head, softly peppering her with kisses that I'd hoped to give her for the rest of our lives. "I'm sorry," I choke, "I'm so sorry." I repeat like a broken record, her body grows limp and everything we've fought for grows meaningless. 

All of a sudden, I jolt up awake. Memories of that night resurface as I shake from head to toe, the covers around me are rumpled and half hanging off of the bed as I scan the darkness, everything looks blurry for a second until I realise I'm crying. I angrily brush away the tears as a ragged breath escapes me. That was five years ago, why am I still dreaming of that night? 

Angst Ending: 

I take in the familiar sight of my bedroom, then I let my eyes glance beside me to the empty spot in my bed, I wish it wasn't as cold and lonely as it looks. I somehow knew that after we'd completed the mission Y/N and I would see more of each other. Our connection felt deep, and I'd never felt so understood and cared for then when I was with her, the joy she brought was incomparable, I still haven't found anyone who made me smile like she did. The nightmare of my past clings to me like a second skin, squeezing my heart relentlessly until a sob escapes me. I was supposed to save her, but I failed. I draw my knees to my chest, shivering as the sweat on my body meets the cold, night air. 

"I'm so fucking sorry." I whisper to the silence, the weight of my guilt consuming me. The haunting reminder of what could have been and what I've lost never changes, each night is the same, a cruel reminder of how I'll never truly be free from the chaos and violence, love isn't something I deserve, and I won't ever be able to properly protect anyone. Grief has built a wall around my heart, and now I don't know anything else anymore. 

Happy Ending: 

A gentle touch stirs me out of my anger and sadness, I look to my side to see Y/N leaning up on her elbow, the sheets barely cover her bare body as she watches me with concern. I can't help my eyes from dipping down to her side, where a scar resides from the night I almost lost her. If the team hadn't arrived with the medical supplies...I don't even want to think about how I would've lost her forever. When I look back up, her eyes soften in understanding. Neither of us say anything as she opens her arms for me to bury myself into her warmth, my face finds the crook of her neck as she holds me together, it might've been my mission to rescue her, but in reality she's the one who saved me. 

I reach up and tangle my fingers in her hair, feeling the strands that have always brought me comfort. Her fingers trace my back, skimming over scars and marks as she lulls me into a sense of peace once more. "I'm sorry." I whisper, needing her to forgive me despite the fact she already has. 

"It's okay, we're okay." She replies, kissing the top of my head as I melt into her embrace, the weight of that night eases off of me as I close my eyes and remind myself that everything I've ever wanted is right in my arms, alive and safe.