𝓛𝓮𝓸𝓷 𝓚𝓮𝓷𝓷𝓮𝓭𝔂| ɪᴍᴀɢɪɴᴇꜱ ʙᴏᴏᴋ 4

Grow Up In My Shadow

I could feel the second Leon's arms untangled themselves from my body, his weight shifted from the bed before he quietly left the bedroom, leaving me alone and what he assumed was fast asleep. I stay still for a few minutes as I wait for Leon to come back from whatever he's doing, but when I don't hear any movements I know this isn't the usual quick bathroom trip or thirst quench. I yawn as I rub my eyes then venture out of our room and down the hallway, instead of it being empty I spot Leon hovering just outside of our son's bedroom door, he leans against the doorframe, arms crossed and face full of concern as he watches the gentle rise and fall of our boy's chest. Our son's growing too fast, already he's seven years old, and we've yet to give him a sibling.

With a deep inhale I power forward, steps light as I make my way to Leon. He must hear me approach because he doesn't startle like he sometimes does when he's deep in thought. He swallows deeply, blue eyes briefly glancing at me before drifting back to the small body under the blankets, action figures surrounding him like soldiers on guard. I smile at the sight, heart full of love for my baby and his quirks. I look back to Leon, gently placing a hand on his arm as he tenses up and allows his eyes to close, it's followed by a shaky exhale, as if Leon's been holding his breath this whole time. In my peripheral I notice our son stir, so carefully I tug Leon away from the open door, leading him back into the safety of our bedroom rather than the cold and too still kitchen, where every sound echoes loud enough to wake the dead. Leon follows me without a word, letting me pull him through the door and gently click it closed before either of us say anything.

"What was that about?" I softly ask as I smile. We often both tease each other for lingering on our son for too long, both of us sometimes too overwhelmed with the weight of parenthood and gratitude for our miracle. However Leon doesn't look like he's in the mood to be teased, his face falls, eyes finding a spot in the carpet as his head bows low. My smile fades, playfulness rapidly replaced with worry and fear. I gently wrap my arms around him, knowing him too well now to know when he needs a hug. Leon's shoulders stay stiff, but his arms encircle me back, his hands clutching my pyjama top desperately. "Tell me about it." I whisper, licking my lips in the darkness.

I feel Leon begin to shake his head, about to wave it off and dismiss the obvious emotions bubbling over, but instead he changes the refusal to a nod. He urges me to sit beside him on the edge of the bed, both of us staring at the wall as he tries to speak. It takes a few attempts as he finds the words, but once he begins it's like he's living the nightmare all over again. "I dreamt he was hurt because of me. I-I couldn't save him in time. It was all my fault, I brought the monsters to our doorstep and-" He breaks off with a physical shudder. I reach out and take his hand in both of mine, my thumbs smoothing over the top of the skin as Leon forces his eyes closed. "My past keeps coming back to haunt me, even when I've tried to bury so much of it. I don't want any of it coming back to claim the life I've got now."

I nod in understanding, when he opens his eyes and looks at me I notice the blue is shimmering, tears refuse to fall as he clenches his fist and leans forwards, a vision of strength and restraint. "It was just a dream Leon," I murmur in reply as I squeeze his hand tighter, "S/N is safe, we're all okay. There's no monsters lingering in the shadows anymore."

"But for how long?" Leon chokes out as his expression shows vulnerability and pure fear. "How long until my line of work brings the past to the present again? As long as I'm an agent he'll never be safe. I'm a danger to him." Leon's voice cracks as the first tear falls. I wipe it away, getting off of the bed to get to my knees in front of him, I cup his jaw, forcing him to look at me as I speak softly.

"Leon Kennedy, you are not a danger to your son, you're his father and his biggest protector. He needs you, more than you could ever know. We both knew the risks when we decided to start a family, and so far we've faced everything together without too much danger. I know there's always a small chance of something terrible happening, but we'll make sure that S/N is always safe, no matter what. I trust you with my life, and so does our little boy, don't let your past and fears blind you to what's safe and good now." I say. Leon clings on to every word as silent tears track down his pale cheeks. He nods once before leaning forwards and burying his face into the crook of my neck, his arms pulling me up until I'm straddling him, he squeezes me tight, body trembling as his tears dampen my neck, but I stay silent and let him hold me as he needs me. Some time passes until he's ready to release me, but even then I stay on him, my arms looped around his neck as his hands find my waist to keep me steady.

"I just can't lose you both. If anything happened because of me..."

"That won't happen, I know we'll be okay." I reassure. Leon takes a calming breath, his breathing steadying as he relaxes a little and comes down from the nightmare. I get off of him to get back into bed with Leon following me under the covers, but there's still tension in his face. When I'm back in his arms, snuggled against his side with my fingers tracing his scars he opens up once more.

"I didn't tell you that S/N was an agent like me in my nightmare." Leon confesses as his lips touch my head, "I'm not just worried about him getting hurt, what if he grows up in my shadow? The government might think that he's just as capable as I am, what if they force him to join the life I've spent so long trying to escape?"

My heart breaks at the idea of it, I've thought about that too, but from my motherly perspective I know I'd sooner burn down the White House than allow them to steal my son from me and throw him into the world of weapons and monsters. "You both have the same blue eyes and Kennedy scowl, but he's not your shadow, not in the way that you think. He's so alike you, it's amazing, but he hasn't been through the things you have, so I don't think that will happen. We'll teach him to stand up for himself and to be strong, if they even try to mess with him they'll have three Kennedy's to go against.. None of us will ever be alone." I lightly whisper, adding a small laugh at the thought of the three of us causing enough chaos for the government to back down. Leon huffs a laugh at the crazy idea too, neither of us mentioning how it very well could be a losing fight realistically.

"And if he wants to be an agent?" Leon retorts, ever the worrier when it comes to his kid.

I shrug, glancing up at him. "Then we'll guide him. We'll make sure he knows what he's getting into and I know you'll be a great teacher. We can't stop him from making choices when he's old enough, but we can ensure he's never misled or held back."

Leon nods with a finality on the subject, "Thank you for always being here. For always understanding and listening to me, and for loving me and our son." He mumbles, resting his forehead against mine as our breaths mingle.

"I'll always love you both, more than I'll ever love anything else. Your fears are valid and you're allowed to worry, but like I said, right now he's just a seven year old boy who likes action figures and watching crappy movies with his dad, let's just maintain and enjoy the safety and security we have now, we'll worry about girlfriends or boyfriends, high school and jobs later when it's time." I murmur. Leon groans, earning a laugh from me as if being reminded of the fun we're going to have when our son gets older and begins venturing out into the big, wide world. We both chuckle until we're relaxed enough to fall back to sleep, worries long gone and future coming at us with full force. Good thing we're ready for it.