Reincarnation of a dreamer

Chapter 1; Reincarnation

* I know it's hard to get through in the start since something's are bad written but please do read until the end! Or atleast some further because i did give it my best. I'm not good at writting, i know that but i would very much appreciate it if atleast one person reads through it :(* 

* Btw text is compact. Ik, it isn't apealing to the eye as an lump of text. But in the beginning it will have to be since i do Text and whenever someone talks, i do an enter. sorry! * 

I was an ordinary man. One you would see everywhere. I looked like that at least, but i had reached a point where i had achieved everything one could ask. I had 3 adopted children and always had 3 dogs. An average home and could go on a plane each year. I had achieved my childhood dream of going to Japan, Amerika (specifically Orlando for universal Orlando) and had gone on my favorite rides there. I was living my dream life from this world. I at some point turned Christian because i believed that there was a god. I didn't believe earlier but after reading most stories of believes, i figured Muslim or Christian were most likely and were the ones that you would ultimately pay for if u didn't believe. As such i believed in Christianity since there was more "evidence". Although that, i believed that there was no heaven, and you would be reincarnated. I really wanted that and i hoped it was in a fantasy world for me. There was something about magic, the ability to do the impossible and make fire out of thin air that enticed me. Who wouldn't want to be there? Though that may be, i didn't know how it would work. Either way, i lived my years and got to 86 till death was waiting. I had the hopes that i would be reincarnated as the character i had made up in a novel. Did i tell you that i made a type of novel when i was 58? (btw this is me now, although i am now 14. To make some things more believable though, i changed the age) I based it on a series i always loved, Mushoku tensei. It was an anime, novel or manga that i admired. When i was young i dreamed of it so much, everything was vivid at moments of death. It truly was like people say, i saw all my past memories and boy were they much. My only regret was never getting a girl. But there never was any girl i could trust. I was always scared they would use me. But that didn't matter, my ideals were too high to start with. I wanted someone that was like Sylph or Roxie from Mushoku tensei. Only with a bit of a bigger chest. Everybody has their preferences. The only thing was that i couldn't find a person like that. Why? Because Sylph was shy and Roxie wasn't one to talk to either. And i was shy shy. I couldn't speak to a random person, let stand a girl! Every girl i knew didn't have a personality and the chest, i mean i could drop that part if they had that personality! They also had to have some interests like me, like watching anime. I would really like such a person, but my shyness forbids it. But what was the root of this shyness? Probably a mild trauma. I grew up with not many friends. Except in high school, but in elementary school i didn't. I was a loner that, in his free time, would do rounds through the school. I didn't have friends to talk to. I did have them earlier though but in a weird way, they all left. Either from moving to another school or moving to another town altogether. As a last resort, i joined a group forcefully in my last years. I can't tell you what grade that was, because i went to school in another school-system. But that group wasn't good. They were a bit racist and that is were i got an habit of saying the N word. I knew it was bad, but i simply didn't want to be alone anymore. but if i got a second chance, i swore to not be shy anymore, or try at least. (btw this is one big flashback just like in the show itself) huh... what is this sharp pain? Oooh no, is this like the one theory that i thought up where if u die u can feel everything that happens to the body but u can't stop it??? No, this is... there is light? Is that heaven or...! Wait another world??? I hope it is i really don't want my life to end! Maybe God does exist! Lucky! He gave me a second chance! Will there be magic though? After some time, i did get through. And hell, i was in a new world! Or i got to the past. It was almost an identical type of world as mushoku! I would know, I had made a point for me to watch that show every single year. I really liked it and i didn't know what else to do. I had also watched it with my family once, and they liked it, but not as much as me. However, i had made it into this world. I recognized a few words that they said from mushoku but it couldn't be... was i in "that" world?