사랑시 (Twinkling Watermelon ff)

75. Erase me

Oh Yi-joo

Do you know how it feels when the whole world loves you except the person you loved with all your heart was nowhere to be found?

It feels so fucking empty.

“Yijoo-ya, alright there?”, Junghyeong Oppa (SPINE9's frontman), tapped on my shoulder.

“Ah- mian, where were we?”

“We are leaving for the world tour tomorrow”, My manager answers, with a disapproved expression.

I whispered him a sorry and focused back on the meeting with Yoon Dongjin, Dad, SPINE9 for the world tour. Eungyeol was looking at me with concern, I faked a small smile. Every so often I wonder how he knows things I never talk to him about.

I zoned out thinking about Hyunyul. I missed him so much. I had a fan singing event earlier today. I met so many people who expressed how much they adored and loved me and my music. I was deeply grateful for their support, my dreams were my reality now.

Shouldn't I be the happiest girl?

But I really wasn't.

He was too special for me. I wanted to see him happy and healthy. That was all I wanted at this point, but I couldn't and that drove me insane. I was getting all sorts of bad thoughts. It was already so sad that nobody remembered him. I couldn't blame them for not remembering him, it's been 28 years. I barely remember my elementary school friends let alone the fact that I wasn't even 20. And there was only explanation I had,

Maybe he left the city after I left.

Because I might have done the same if I was at his shoes. Everything in that neighborhood reminded me of us. It must have been living hell for him.

“Stop bothering me, Yi-hyun!!”, I raised my voice, I wasn't in a mood to play video games with him.

“You are rude! I hate you, noona!”, he slammed the door of my room and left stomping out.

A sigh escaped my mouth as I plopped myself on the bed. I was cranky about everything since I came back from the meeting. I locked myself in my room since then. I was now feeling guilty for screaming at Yi-hyun.

My eyes fell on the backpack I took to the past. It was lying in a corner since yesterday. I got up from the bed and took the bag and walked towards my study table. The photos Eunyu gave me yesterday were lying over it. They were the photos she clicked of me and Hyunyul in the past. Just looking at them made my heart ache and just like that, I was a crying mess once again.

“Bogo shipeo", I whimpered out loudly hugging those photographs.

I gave up wiping off my tears because I was going to shred more anyway as I opened the bag. Love poem was nowhere to be seen. I remembered having it in my bag that day, instead I spotted Hyunyul's diary that La Vida Ahjussi gave me.

I opened it just to find a lot of things written inside the book.

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ˏ
5th April 1995

Is she real? Those doe eyes moving from word to word, that adorable pout on her lips when she was focusing on the book in her hands. Her side bangs were bothering her because of the wind from the nearby window. For the first time in life I entered a book store, just to close the window. She sure loved that book as I saw her smiling, she also had dimples. I was too awestruck, she was too good to be true. Before I could do anything, she kept the book back, I could see that she wanted the book. I paid it for her and ran out of the store before she could see me.

Can I see you again? I didn't even catch your name.

But till then, I'll call you my love poem.

ˋ°•*⁀➷

Hyunyul was the one who gifted me Love Poem. He was doing things to make me happy before I even know about his existence. Do I deserve to be loved like that? And now, I had to find out about him. That's the least I could do for him.

Hyunjae Oppa!

That's how I ended up at the police station, wearing a disguise so no one could recognize me. I walked towards the help desk, “Can I meet Officer Kang Hyunjae?”

“Chief Kang? May I know the reason of visit?”

No sooner I removed my shades he recognized me, “It's really important, please”, I requested.

I just wanted to confirm if Hyunyul was doing good. I just wanted to see if he was alright. I hoped meeting Hyunjae would make me feel a little better.

And I was utterly wrong.

I didn't get the answer I was expecting. All the things I was saying to myself were nothing but white lies. His words were ringing inside my mind without a break as I still couldn't process them, “Kang Hyunyul? Who is he?”.

How could a person not remember his own brother?

I couldn't hold a meaningful conversation with him after that. I bowed and ran out of the room before anyone could hear my ugly sobs. I exited the police station. I just asked La Vida Ahjussi to erase his memories of me if he could. I never asked him to erase him. My eyes betrayed me as tears started to fall off them even though I invested all my energy trying not to cry, following my knees giving up too.

I just wanted to check.

I just wanted to see him happy.

Was that too much to ask?

“Yijoo-ya!!!" I looked up with my teary eyes when I heard my name being called.

“What's wrong?”, it was Eungyeol.

“H-He doesn't exist anymore”, my throat pained as I spoke.

Eungyeol hugged me.

“Nobody remembers him," I whimpered.

✨🍉𝘾𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙀𝙥𝙞𝙡𝙤𝙜𝙪𝙚🍉✨

Somewhere the lights of La Vida Music were turned on, waiting for their new guest.

The two moons appeared, which were noticed by him.

He opened the door as he heard someone string a guitar.

"I'm sure it wasn't easy to find our shop, Viva la Vida!!"

A/N:
Tada 🎉
A small sneak peak of the next chapter.

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