Am I wrong

Truth Be Told

I heard mom yell from in the living room, "Grandma just pulled up into the driveway".

Throwing the covers off me onto the floor I ran to meet her at the door screaming, "Grandma, Grandma, Grandma!!" Like a little kid.

I love my grandma so much I used to visit her every summer me and momma. I seen her getting her bags out the car while talking to mom. I bursts out the front door running towards her screaming, "GRANDMA I MISSED YOU SO MUCH".

She grinned when she seen me I jumped into her arms squeezing her tiny fragile frame she chuckled, "I missed you too honey bunch". She pinched my cheeks smiling at me.

Mom dragged the suit cases in the house sitting them in the guess room. Me and grandma walked into the kitchen sitting at the table she just smiled at me, "You've grown up so much Michelle".

I smiled at her blushing she moved a piece of hair behind my ear, "Your momma told me you were doing good in school".

I nodded smiling at her I missed her so much. Then the soft look on her face changed into a serious one she grabbed both on my hands into hers. "Michelle are you pregnant".

I frowned I felt like I failed momma and grandma by being careless and getting pregnant at sixteen. I couldn't look at the disappointment on my grandma face I couldn't handle everyone being mad at me.

She squeezed my hands making me look up at her she had small smile on her face, "It's ok Michelle I'm not here to make you feel bad baby".

I nodded slowly wiping the tears sliding down my face, "I'm so sorry grandma to hurt you and momma I didn't mean to get pregnant. I was being stupid and not thinking clearly".

I cried harder int my hands she got up sitting next to me cradling me in her arms, "It's ok baby I'm here for you me and your momma were both here for you".

After awhile I had finally stopped crying we sat there drinking tea. I told her about Steven and what we planned to do with the rest of our lives.

She smoothed down my hair like momma always do now I see where she gets it from, "You've grown up to be a beautiful young lady Michelle I'm proud of you".

Jasmine came over so I left mom and grandma in the kitchen talking. We sat on the bed she was watching a movie on her phone. "Court what are you watching".

Pausing it she said, "Your really asking me what I'm watching". Wiggling my eyebrows at her laughing I said, "Yea girl just tell me".

She groaned rolling over on the other side of the bed, "Your such an air head".

I laid my head on her back chuckling at get comment then I got serious, "I told my grandma about me being pregnant".

"What did she say", I sighed still having guilt in the pit of my stomach, "She said her and mom will be there to help me".

Courtney smiled and said, "You have a very loving and supportive family". I gushed then said, "All families have there problems and issues".

She turned back around continuing to watch her movie. I texted Steven, "Hey babe where you at".

He texted back, "I'm out with my parents they dragged to me to there friends house to have dinner".

I laughed out loud he sounded miserable Court elbowed me in arm, "Shut up your loud Chelle damn".

I covered my mouth trying to holding in laughter. I got up walking into the hall to the kitchen. I heard grandma and mom talking in hushed tones.

I eavesdropped tip toeing down the hall. I heard my mom silent cry she said over and over, "I don't know what do I'm scared mommy".

I felt a pain of guilt hit me I wondered if she was talking about me. Grandma said something but I could barely hear her. I stepped a little father down the hall to hear better,

Grandma said in a reassuring voice, "You can fight this your strong Monica". My grandma never called my mom by her first name no one did. Everyone called her by her nickname Moni. I knew this had to be serious my mom cried some more I was tired of seeing her cry and hurt like this.

I felt bad for eavesdropping but I had to get my information one way or another. What was so bad, what could mom fight I hoped for the best but expected the worst. Grandma said something else, "Are you going to tell Michelle".

My mom said almost to quickly, "I can't not now she can't handle all this". Grandma said to her, "I think you should tell her she's going to be upset if you didn't tell her earlier".

Mom cried out hysterically, "How do you tell your sixteen year old daughter that you've been diagnosed with breast cancer".

I felt my heart drop in my chest. I regretted everything I just heard. I stepped out the dark hallway staring at them, "Mom you've been diagnosed with breast cancer". I didn't recognize my own voice it sounded broken and betrayed.

Her and grandma stood up looking at me shock covering their faces holding out her arms to me she said, "You wasn't supposed to find out yet". She wiped her wet face her eyes red and puffy from crying so much.

Grandma walked towards me she said in her low soothing voice, "Come here baby you don't have to cry". I wiped my face I didn't even realize I was crying.

I was angry and hurt that she didn't tell me, that she blocked me out and pushed me away. I turned around and ran down the hall into my room. I slammed the door locking it Courtney sat up staring at me confused, "What's wrong .. Why are you crying".

I could barley get the words out my mouth, "M-momma's been diagnosed with breast cancer". Courtney began to cry I ran to her holding her in my arms crying.

We cried into each others arms all night non stop I couldn't think of losing my mom. I would have nothing without her. Why my mom, why me, why my family is all that ran through my head.

It was late when we finally calmed ourselves down. My mom was like a second mom to Courtney and I was close to her mom as well. For this to happen was like a stab in the heart.

I was taking so many blows I felt I couldn't stand it any longer. I heard a soft knock on the door in the dark but I didn't open it I don't move.

Courtney cried herself to sleep me I thought of all the wrongs I did in my lifetime to deserve this. Why me, why now at the time I felt I hurt my family the most now this.

I couldn't even fathom the idea of loosing my mother she was my everything. My best friend, my mom, my nurse, my therapist, my father. The one person that meant the work to me could possibly be taken away from me at any given moment.