Am I wrong

Let Me In

I put my head down on my desk, this school thing is really exhausting. I don't ever remember me being this tired before.

I can't even walk to my class without stopping to catch my breath. The later I get in my pregnancy the heavier I feel. Schools going to be out in three more months, and I can't wait all this walking is killing me.

The bell started ringing I got up grabbing my stuff shoving it in my bag. I walked out the classroom heading to lunch. I ran into a bunch of Steven's old friends they called out to me down the hall.

"Michelle baby! your one sexy mommy".

I laughed rolling my eyes at them, they did this almost everyday to keep a smile of my face. I didn't mind I am a sexy mommy if I say so myself.

I seen Courtney rounding the corner she smiled at me, "Hey hot stuff". Grinning I said, "Wassup Jelly bean". She looked at me throwing me a confused look. I laughed linking my arm with hers.

She talked about baby shower colors as I got my tray moving down in the line. I picked up a salad and apple while she got a big bowl of spaghetti. I ain't go lie that spaghetti and meatballs looked t good.

She followed behind me as I sat down our tray in the table. She continued to talk while I stuffed my face with salad looking sadly at her spaghetti and meatballs.

When she wasn't looking I snatched a meatball off her tray. She narrowed her eyes at me as I chewed, "Chelle did you eat my meatball".

I shook my hand at her smiling my mouth full of meat. She continued to talk about the baby shower while I looked around the cafeteria.

It was almost empty I wonder where everybody was at. I seen something fly across my face. I looked over at Courtney she looked annoyed, "Are you listening to me Chelle".

I nodded, "Yeah I'm listening". She frowned, "Your a fucking liar, your staring off into space". I sighed, "Fine dang...I'm listening continue".

I sat up straight giving her my undivided attention. She smiled then continued with what she was saying.

"Ok I was thinking yellow and pink for the baby colors".

"Yeah I don't like yellow like that".

"Well ok, if you don't yellow then we can do blue".

I zoned out after she started talking about baskets and everything else. I saw Braxton enter the lunchroom. He scanned around until his eyes landed on me. He smiled walking over to me.

He sat down at the table, "Wassup with yall".

Courtney frowned at the both of us, "You just cut me off and she's not listening". I shrugged opening my milk taking a small sip.

Braxton didn't take his eyes off of me as he talked to Courtney. "Well what are yall talking about".

I shrugged because I honestly had no idea I just wasn't feeling it. He turned to Jasmine they started having a full blown conversation on colors. I got up throwing my tray away.

I decided to leave them and go to the cafeteria. When I was almost down the hallway I heard Courtney cursing as she ran to catch up with me.

She finally caught up walking beside me out of breath. "Why didn't you wait for me". We walked into the library I smiled at the lady behind the desk.

I sat down sighing heavily, "Oh my god that walk to this library almost killed me". Courtney just stared at me,"Uh okay you alright Chelle".

I laid back staring at the ceiling, "I don't know...I just a been so tired lately".

"Maybe you need to go in for a check up for yourself".

I thought about it for a minute sitting up I looked at her.

"I need to because this right here ain't working no more".

"Yeah it is getting late in your pregnancy. Your four months your only getting bigger".

I looked down at my tummy. "Yeah your right".

The bell ring I got up grabbing my stuff. Courtney grabbed my arm, "I'll come over tonight okay".

I looked at her I could tell she was trying too hide the worry in her face. I smiled at her, "Yeah that's fine".

She let me go I walked out the door towards the student parking lot. I grabbed my keys unlocking the car.

I sat in the car taking a deep breath I was so tired I thought I was going to pass out. Sitting there a extra five minutes I regained my strength.

I back out and drove out the school zone. I wanted so bad to see mom at the hospital. Grandma finally sat me down and told me what's going on. She's been receiving treatment and wouldn't go into chemo for awhile.

I asked her could I see her but like she always say it's not a good time. She keeps saying she wants me to see her when she's a little better. From what it seems it's like she's never getting better.

I pray every night that she gets through this I believe she can. I know she's been fighting I just want to see her. That's all I miss her so much and I'm tired of crying at night.

She was the only person who could make me feel better. I got out the car locking the door. I went into my room tossing my back pack on the floor.

I took a hot shower did my homework then went to sleep. I completely forgot about Courtney. My phone started ringing on my nightstand. I grabbed it putting the phone to my ear, "Hello".

I heard Braxton's deep voice on the other end, "Are you sleep". I groaned sitting up in the bed, "Yeah I was". I looked at the digital clock on the wall it read 10:03.

"Are you mad I called you this late"

"No your straight". I yawned.

"You sound sleepy"

I chuckled. "I am sleepy".

There was a moment of silence. I stared to doze off.

"Michelle"

"Mhmm"

"Why do you keep everything in"

I rubbed my eyes trying to stay awake. "I don't know"

He didn't say anything for awhile.

"Michelle let me in, let me love you please" his voice held thus seriousness.

I didn't know what to say to that so I sat there quiet.

"Will you promise to me that you'll let me in?"

"I promise".