Am I wrong

Breaking Point

I sat in my room once again I was in the house alone. I turned up the music on my iPod J.Cole was playing. Tears ran down my cheeks as thought about Steven. How could you tell me you want to be with me then leave me.

I hate when he promised me that we would always be together. Knowing he was lying when he said we would always be together. Leaving me to raise a baby it took two to bring in this world.

Running from your responsibilities don't make them go away. It just distance them for awhile until they come back and blow up in your face. I had to learn the hard way not listening to my momma when she said, "Michelle make sure you stay safe and always protect yourself".

It was torture facing reality alone raising a child at sixteen all on my own. If I could go back I would do it all over again that's what I get for thinking he loved me when he really didn't.

There was a soft knock on the door I turned down the music letting J.Cole's voice fade. I wiped the tears off my cheeks, "Come in". The door creaked open Braxton popped his head in.

He smiled at me, "Wassup, you didn't call me". I shrugged he closed the door behind him walking over to the bed. Sitting down beside me he searched my face with those brown eyes like he always did. "You've been crying haven't you". I shook my head he wiped my tears away, "Don't lie Michelle, I know when your hurting".

I put my head down staring at my hands in my lap. I felt my tummy move. I shrieked in disbelief and excitement "Oh my god", he looked at me worriedly,"What's wrong".

My stomach moved again I lifted up my shirt pressing my hand against my tummy. I felt a small kicked I almost screamed in happiness, "The baby is kicking oh my god! ". Braxton stared at my stomach wide eyed, "Foreal..may I".

I nodded he placed his hand on my tummy waiting for the baby to kick. The baby kicked in the spot where his hands was. He looked up at me smiling and in shock, "Oh my god I've never felt a baby kick before". The baby kicked again and we both started laughing waiting for the baby to kick.

I was so happy I started crying again I covered my face with my hands. I felt Braxton pull me into his chest rubbing my back he sighed, "Michelle your so strong, intelligent, independent. Your the bravest person I know".

I nuzzled closer into his chest as he held me. A part of me was slowly falling for Braxton. But the other part was still in love with Steven. It's hard to let someone go when you've been together for so long. It's so hard to let go it's like a part of you is missing forever.

After a hour Braxton left he said he had to do homework. I already did my homework overachiever I am that. I offered to help him but we both know he didn't need any help.

I got up going into the kitchen I saw some dishes in the sink. I decided to wash them up real quick since I didn't have anything better to do. I ended up cleaning the entire house. When I was done I was completely exhausted.

I laid on the couch for awhile, ten minutes later grandma came in with a bag of groceries I got up to help her. She kissed my forehead, "Hey baby cheeks how was your day". I shrugged, "Just like any other school day".

She began to put the cans in the cabinets I helped. "How's momma doing is she getting any better". Grandma froze then she started pulling out pans ignoring what I just said. I asked again she didn't say anything I was tired of being left in the dark. I was tired of being left period it's like everyone's leaving me slowly.

I cried out to her desperately, "Grandma I can't take this anymore I really can't. You never tell me how's she's doing". She dropped a pot on the floor causing the noise to echo throught out the house her hands were shaking. Sweat dripped from her forehead she wiped it away. Tears slipped from her cheeks her entire body was shaking.

I ran to her hugging her, holding her against my chest. She cried into my shoulder saying over and over, "My baby, my baby, why my baby". It was more like a cry out to god rather than her talking to me.

Ever since this whole thing began grandma has been nothing but strong. Not once did she not smile or keep her head up. Now she's finally broken down and I had to pick her up. Just like how I should have been there to pick momma up.

Her slightly wrinkled face covered in tears. It made my heart break in a different way. She has it hard knowing her baby girl is fighting a battle many have lost.

Only the strong survived, the ones who never lost sight of what's important. Life! living to see your grandkids kids. Waking up and taking another step outside to see a new day.

I know my mom, she's just like grandma and I'm just like her. We are strong and we keep fighting no matter how much it hurts. Or how tired we get I could tell grandma was tired, she's been tired for awhile. Not once did she complain or sit there and feel sorry for herself. She kept the faith, she has faith that mom will win this battle, and so do I. My mom is too strong, she's too willing and brave. It's just today her strength and will power is being put out to the test.

Her faith is being put to the test. All she believes in is being put to the test. I am being put to the test I have bigger things to worry about and I'm crying over someone who left me. I'm to strong to be crying anymore I have way more than enough will power to make it on my own.

The thing is I'm not alone and it took me until this moment to understand that. I have my mom, grandma, Braxton, his parents, Courtney, and the entire school. My family, friends but mostly I have god. With him I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.