lost me (Minho×ot8)

chapter 65

Seungmin's pov
I am so angry at jisung, but after seeing him break down in front of us yesterday  I couldn't help it...I need to be by his side right now...our fight could wait...I was walking out of the kitchen carrying a plate with some soup and pasta...the older is refusing to leave his room he even skipped breakfast,it is lunchtime but it does seem like he is going to change his mind so I decided to take him something to eat.

Right when I reached the top floor , I was met with lee minho...great that's what I needed, I tried my best to stay away from him after I yelled at the older...I know he was not the one who kissed jisung first but It angers me that he managed to kiss not one but two of my boyfriends.
They got attached to him, and I know I won't be able to make them move on from this man, but he is giving them mixed signals...if It was me...if I was the one who lost his partner and encountered people who are interested in me,even though I said i don't want to have anything with them and they kissed me...I would have left...so why is he not leaving? If he is interested in this he better just say it...what is done is done now? I am once again helpless because of something the boys decided.

But over all I am not liking this pull and push game....he needs to decide...either he stays or he leaves...by not doing anything like this...he is hurting himself, the boys and I.
"Seungmin, I..."
"I know it was not your fault, don't bother " i cut the older off trying to walk passed him but he stood in front of me stopping me for moving forward.
"Maybe he was the one who kissed me first but I kissed him back...it is not just jisung's fault...so I wanted to apologise "he said taking a deep breath, he looked confused..lost...and kind of divided "Sorry for making your relationship harder than it is" he added making me chuckle.
"Sweet" I said rolling my eyes "now can you move so I can get this food to jisung before it gets cold" I added.

"Can I come with you? To see jisung...I want to check on him" the older said taking me off guard.
"Are you kidding me right now?"I said glaring at him.
"I tried to talk to him, but he refused to open the door..."
"Why would you want to do such thing?"I said tilting my head" did you decide what you are going to do? Are you leaving?" I added, maybe he will choose to leave if he is really serious about not moving on from his wife.
"Not that.. I wanted to know if he talked with his parents...."minho stopped and looked away" you know what....nevermind" he added shaking his head.

"So you are worried about my boyfriend " I said raising my eyebrow.
"He is my teammate, even though i don't look like I care but I do...about all of you" minho said making me freeze.
"You just met us..."
"But you are my team now" he cut me off, my mouth fell open not expecting the older to say something like that...I mean he is hard to crack and didn't seem like someone who likes to show his emotions...but what if we don't really know the real him...I saw how he acted with his previous team last time...he seemed like a different person.
"If you see us as your team, that means you are staying" I said staring right into his eyes.

"Do you want me to? " He replied not breaking eye contact with me " it is up to you...I will leave if you want me to" he added tilting his head to the side.
"You can't put that responsibility on me just because you are scared to take your own decision, I told you...stay if you want or leave...but you know what will happen if you do stay" I answered...this really sounds like I am forcing him to be with us, he has the right to work with us without that but unfortunately it is not possible...the boys can't separate their feelings from work I know them.
"I am battling with a lot of emotions right now seungmin, I am experiencing feelings that I didn't think I will have again...my whole life is upside down...and your relationship is a mess." He said taking a deep breath " if I say yes...if I say I am willing to try...Will you accept me?" He added.

Silence filled the hall as I kept staring at him,
"Are you sure that after you decide to join us that you won't leave..."
"I am not and I will never be someone who run in situations like this...when i care about someone...when I chose to love someone..." he stopped midsentence " this is harder than I thought..."
"Because you are not over your wife...I don't know what is going on inside your head right now exactly but first make up your mind" I cut him off before I pushed passed him walking to jisung's room.
What changed exactly? Why is he trying to complicated things even more?