lost me (Minho×ot8)

chapter 90

Minho's pov
The eight of us spent the night at Seungmin's room yesterday...there was no way his bed could fit more than three people and adding to the fact that he is injured only one could have shared the bed with him....each one of them gave a reason why he should be the one to sleep next to seungmin...it was funny seeing the boys even chan hyung fight over the spot...jisung said he was his first boyfriend. ..chan hyung's argument was that he is the oldest so he gets to sleep next to seungmin who made a joke about his age. jeongin tried to act cute which was a side I have never seen from the man and used the fact that he is the youngest to his advantage as well. while hyunjin said that is basically the boss of the boss of chan hyung's.

To say the least it was chaotic, seungmin almost kicked all of them out of the room.
' you are giving me headache, I am going to share the bed with minho hyung and if any of you argue...I will kick you out myself' I remembered the younger's angry yell from yesterday.
Well it was for my advantage, I got to sleep on a comfortable bed while the others spread some covers on the floor and slept there.
I smiled looking at the sleeping man next to me...it is 6 am, so all of the. are still asleep...I don't sleep that much...each time I close my eyes I dream of my family...it is no secret that  I have been battling with insomnia for over two years now...I can't have peace until my family do...until I put kang heechul down.

What happened the last weeks was not expected, I say it before and I will say it again...I would have never in a million years imagine that I will love again...that I will enter another relationship with more than one person...it is still weird...but I am slowly getting used to it.
I was lost inside my thoughts staring at seungmin before I felt a pair of arms around me " why are you awake?" Hyunjin whispered into my ear sending shiver down my spine. The younger was laying on the edge of the bed...he could fall if he move, but he did a pretty god job keeping his balance.

"I am not tired" he replied with a hushed voice to not wake the others up, as agents we are trained to be alert when we sleep...i don't know about them but supposedly all agents are light sleepers...as i said supposedly...a smile came on my face when i remembered how hard was it for my previous team to wake mingi and wooyoung up...we had to drag the later out of bed once yet he didn't wake up.
Hyunjin just hummed before he buried his head into my neck... I like this...the feeling of being held...the feeling of being with someone.
I have really let my guards down with them, I am really in love with some of them...I didn't get the chance to get close to chan hyung, changbin or jeongin but they are good people...I can see myself falling for them in the future.

As for seungmin, I have never thought he will be like this after the way he treated me first...but I get him now...after he told me about his ex and how he is afraid of losing people he cares about...I get him...I think...i think I might have started to develop some feelings toward him. For now I just want to catch heechul...to end him so I can have my peace...to make sure that my family got the justice they deserve and that my current boyfriends are safe...I don't trust that man....if he finds out that I am behind him...he will try to hurt me again...by hurting the people I care about...I gulped hard staring at seungmin...we are kind of similar on that...we are afraid of love because we are afraid of getting hurt again...I really get him. Hyunjin didn't say any other word as he hugged me tight. After I make that man pay, I will be free...my family will forever be part of my heart...I will never forget about them...but at least I would keep my promise to punish the man who took them away from me.

I sometime wonder how would my life be if jisoo and mina didn't die...we would had another kid now...another girl or a boy...they would have been over one...we would have travelled like I promised them...we would have been happy....I swallowed hard at the thought...sometimes I have dreams ...but they are just that...dreams...I won't say that I am not happy with the boys...it is just...i am glad that i found them...it is just...it still hurts...no matter what...I lost a part of me and no one will be able to fill that void...the boys can't fill jisoo and my kids' place...and i don't want them to...they are different...they are the people I want to build a future with.