lost me (Minho×ot8)

chapter 55

Minho's pov (next day)
The whole house was tense from what happened yesterday, I can't understand these men...all the lies...all these secrets...a part of me wants to just leave but I can't not because of the contract i signed...it is just...I know that I said I regret joining them but it is not easy i took a deep breath pouring a cup of coffee, I can't deny it...a part of me also cares about them...not just my unexpected feelings toward hyunjin...I an talking about all the boys.
They are good people and I grew used to them...jisung's teasing...felix's flirting...seungmin's glare...chan hyung..

the older is just...in my previous team I was the oldest alongside hoongjoong and seonghwa but here...chan hyung is even though he didn't show it directly he is trying to take care of me like I am really a part of the team...I have never experienced that before...to be taken care of, changbin and I didn't really talk that much...he didn't approach me but we didn't fight or argue either, he likes to keep himself closed up I guess...lastly jeongin, the younger is complicated. ..I don't know how to describe him, maybe he is the youngest but after what he has been through it made him more mature from what i saw or maybe i don't really know him...but inlike the others I will say he is stable...he knows what he is doing...

Jisung suddenly entered the kitchen cutting my thoughts short...he looked at me before he walked toward the fridge without saying a word...something felt different...not seeing him smile...tease...is just...it felt so wrong.
"Good morning" I said clearing my voice, he slowly looked my way.
"Morning" he replied, his voice seemed worse...I don't know if it is because he just woke up or because he spend last night crying...I mean his eyes looks red.
"Are you good?" I asked scanning him, I know my question is pointless the man's whole life turned upside down. His mom lied to him...his loved ones are keeping secrets from him...I can only imagine." I know you are not I just..."

"It is fine, what matters is that you asked" jisung said before he took a seat on the chair facing me." I am sorry" he added looking at his hands.
"Why are you apologising to me?" I asked confused.
"Because we are ruining things for you, you came here...you joined us to catch the killer of your family...but instead we dragged you into our mess" jisung said.
"I..."
"No hyung, hell our relationship is already mess and we were trying to help you when we couldn't even help ourselves " he said reaching out to take my hand " I genuinely and deeply care about you, I know it might seem crazy but I really do...whenever I see you...I just..." he paused taking a deep breath " I am in love with you lee minho and I am sorry that I am" he finished.

I was lost of words, first hyunjin now him....let's not forget about felix and the kiss...it is...they are making this hard for me..." we can't control who we fall in love with jisung" I answered...I might be going through the same thing right now...hwang hyunjin...there is no denying my attraction to him and it makes me sick...
"I promise you that I won't cross my boundaries again, it is clear that you made your decision" jisung said smiling sadly " but hyung, even not with us...you deserve to be happy...you deserve a second chance in life" he added.
"It is hard...it is hard to let go of her" I murmured biting his lips.
"I know it is...and I know it is scary as hell as well...but you will get the hold if it...just let your guards down...you will find the one for you" jisung said.

"If I do and I can't protect them as well jisung...what if i lose them too?" I asked titling my head, for the first time I let myself be honest with the younger...I let my emotions out...
"You can't live with what if hyung...we can't change our destiny but we should keep pushing to live...to survive...to do so we need people with us...people to love...to count on...maybe we will lose them...but that's life...let go of your fear" jisung said caressing my hand with thus thumb."But for now, we need to focus on our mission...no more drama...no more fighting with the boys we will figure that out later, the only way we can help you right now...is by catching kang heechul and I promise you we will " he added.