lost me (Minho×ot8)

chapter 30

Felix's pov
" omg, I am exhausted " I said falling on jeongin who was laying on the couch...we just came back from the mission and of course we managed to destroy the deal and arrest the two Chinese sisters.
" hyunjin, minho jisung hyung and I did all the hard work you were just shooting while sitting in the same place" jeongin said trying to push me off him " get off" he whined.
"Are you saying my job is easy?", I asked putting him into a head lock.
"I am saying that it is not as tiring as running around " he answered trying to fight me off but failed.

"Not anyone could become a sniper, especially as good as him" minho said entering the room. I stood up glancing at him " it is harder than you think " he added.
"I know that...I was teasing felix hyung..."
" three of the bodies were shot in the head the other one in the chest and from a very far distance, you are really something" minho cut jeongin off staring right into my eyes.
" well what i can say, apparently I was born for this job" I replied internally wincing at what I said...the older started silently at me with unreadable expression.
"Felix" I looked toward the new comer to see hyunjin glaring at me...he looked pissed.
"What is wrong with you?" Jeongin asked staring between the two of us confused.
"What do you want?" I asked hyunjin who sigh before he shook his head and left without answering me.

I clenched my jaw before I followed after the taller, what the hell does he think he is doing?
" I am talking to you" I said grabbing his arm.
Hyunjin stopped to look back at me " what are you trying to accomplish here?" He asked tilting his head.
"None of your business..."
" it is my business" he yelled pushing my hand way" as long as I am alive and breathing it is my business...i am your boyfriend felix" he added.
" I told you that if you leave you are dead to me..."
" i am sick and tired of this...I told you...I freaking told you that the mission was important to me " he yelled pushing me back." And for you.. for all of you i gave up on it" he added pushing me once again....gave up on it...

"It is not over..."
"It is not...it is barely started...but I couldn't...I couldn't stay away from you any longer...you have no idea how much I..." he stopped midsentence shaking his head" I missed you so much...no day passed without thinking about you...this is something...I...I wanted to do for a very long time and i gave up on it to come back to you...all of you...because I freaking love you...do you have any idea how hard it is for me to watch you treat me like this...to watch you push me away...hate me...look at me with disgust" he added.
" you mean the same way you look at me..."

"You are not listening to me...I don't blaming you damn it...I don't...you can shot me right here", he said pointing toward his heart" and I won't hate...I was stupid...I am stupid...I was hurt and confused...I didn't mean to treat you like that and you freaking know it....you just looking for a way to keep me away from you....because you are the one who is blaming himself not me...I love you so much to the point that I won't even care if it was you who killed my mom not..."
" guys, It is enough" chan hyung yelled making both of us look his way." What are you doing?" He added glaring between us.
" it is..."
" we just came back from a mission, we are tired and so are you...go to your room and get some rest" he cut me off.

"But..."
" I am not telling you...this is an order" the older said crossing his arm above his chest...from his tone and look, it is obvious that he is really angry at the moment...I threw one last glance at hyunjin before I left without adding another word.
I am the one who is blaming himself...his words repeated inside my head, he could be right...I have never got over the fact that my biological father killed Mrs hwang and probably never will...since she died...something changed between hyunjin and I...I mean we went back to each other but somehow it was never the same...I felt so guilty...I entered my room and walked immediately toward my bed...I am angry at hyunjin for leaving but what if I am pushing him away because I was never over what happened.