lost me (Minho×ot8)

chapter 37

Seungmin's pov ( next morning)
I have no idea for how long I have been standing here...I looked blankly at the closed door debating where I should knock on it or not. I took a deep breath biting my lips, we decided to move hyunjin back home last night....well chan hyung did...there was no need for him to stay at the headquarters when he has us to take care of.
I didn't see or talk to him since I left the room yesterday...the boys told me he is doing fine but I want to see him myself badly.

"Just go inside seungie" I looked behind me to see chan hyung smiling at me.
"It is not easy" I murmured looking down.
"Are you still angry at him?" He asked approaching me.
"I am afraid hyung...what if...I don't want to experience that kind of heart break again" I said looking at the older with teary eyes.
"And you won't seungie...you know hyunjin didn't leave because he doesn't love you anymore...it was a mission...it hurts I know...I was hurt too...but he us back now...he will never intentionally hurt you or any of us" he said grabbing me by my shoulders " no one is forcing you to forgive him...but clearly you want to" he added.

I do...I really do...but he left...after I trusted him he left and took a piece of my heart with him...this time was different from when Bomin broke up with me because I had the boys...but my love for hyunjin was bigger...stronger...I don't know what should I do.
"I came here to give him his meds...maybe you should" he said taking a bottle from his pocket.
I started between the older's eyes and the bottle before I nodded.
"Okay" I said taking it, before I could say another word chan hyng opened the door of the room before he pushed me inside...that damn...I was not ready...and I thought he said no one is forcing me.

"Seungmin" hyunjin said looking at me with sleepy eyes...he clearly woke up after i entered.
"Chan hyung told me to bring you your meds the others are busy so I had to" I lied clearing my voice.
"Oh, thank you" the older said trying to get up only to groan in pain.
"Stop moving idiot" I yelled approaching him, they brought a hospital bed here...I took the remote to adjust it for him " now you can drink with choking" I added rolling my eyes.
"I don't mind..."
"I will beat your ass off if you make a dirty joke" I said pointing my finger at him...he raised his arms up in defeat only to wince again...god he never learns I swear.

I sighed before I poured him a glass of water and gave him his meds....he took them without saying a word.
"Are you hungry?" I asked making him raise his eyebrow.
"I am" he hummed.
"I will tell chan hyung to bring you..."
"Seungmin...please don't leave" he said taking my head , I glanced toward him only to find hyunjin staring at me with big doe eyes" I am sorry...I am deeply sorry for hurting you...I chose to leave even though I knew that you will be the one who is going to suffer the most...it...it was personal...I was selfish and I...I...I wanted to apologise and I wanted you to know that I really mean it" he added.

Silence filled the room as I kept staring at the other without saying a word for a few seconds.
"Personal how?" I asked, hyunjin just shook his head before he looked away...great another secret." Felix told me about deathshot " I added.
"I know he did" hyunjin replied
" did you really blame him?" I asked making his eyes widen.
"I didn't...I...I was angry at first...I didn't know how to react and...and I messed things up with lix...but seungie...I swear I don't blame him...I don't...I wish i could take what I said and did back but i can't " he answered.
"I know" I said taking my hand for gus grip gently.

"Don't leave..."
"I will go bring you something to eat...don't give anywhere....oh....excuse me you can't because you got shot protecting a stranger" I cut him off walking toward the door.
"Seungmin...I really like him" I stopped and glared at him.
"You like someone you barely know.?" I asked.
"I can't control my heart..."
" I told you years ago...all of you that the last person I am letting into this relationship is chan hyung and i am not going to change mind" I cut hyunjin off " I am not coming back chan hyung will bring you your food ", I added storming out of the room.