ODDS OF LOVE - SEASON 14

Episode 95

" So how have you been feeling lately, Lewis? ," Reverend Lynn Lawton asked as she sat in her beloved rocking chair opposite the young thirteen year old boy in her office, her notepad lying on her lap , a pen tucked between her fingers, her warmly understanding and compassion gaze focused on his face.

Lewis fidgeted in the chair across from her. He liked her more than the other therapist his dad and Nigel had him talking to. The other one was ok , really, but too perky. Too positive. Too.... nice. Sure , Reverend Lynn was all of that too but in a different way. Not as extra. And, he kinda knew her a little. From family dinners and all. Speaking of family he really wasn't looking forward to the family therapy session tonight. His dad had told him they were all coming even Granddad who had custody of him now thanks to Mom's stupid custody suit. Well, everyone except for Mama Glory who was staying at Uncle Alfred and Uncle Gerald's with Tanisha who dad said was too young to be at something like that. Of course, Rebecca would be there. And , Richie ....... His grey eyes darkened with conflict and wistfulness as he thought of his foster brother/ friend/ boyfriend. Ok..... ex boyfriend, he amended his own thoughts as he remembered that he had told, asked , him by phone in his room that he thought they should take a break from..... from whatever they were doing. A break until he figured out all the stuff in his head. Figured out what he actually wanted really. Richie had agreed.... eventually but it hadn't been easy. With Richie nothing was that easy though.

" How am I supposed to feel? ," he replied. He felt awkward. And , self conscious. Before he could write out his thoughts and then destroy it without the other therapist reading it or knowing. Here he could not. He had asked if he could but Lynn just smiled serenely and said it would be more beneficial to him if they had an actual face to face conversation. Maybe. Maybe not. Although if the other one had read his words she would have known what he had been planning to do. Then his dad and Nigel would have known. They could have stopped him maybe and his mom wouldn't have went to court and taken him from his dad. Which he did not like at all. He loved his grandad and stepgrandmom but he didn't want to live with them. He didn't want to live with mom and Wilson either. He didn't really know them. After all , he had been sent to  boarding school when he was nine and a lot of holidays he spent there alone because dad worked a lot and mom had other " aura inspired opportunities open to her ". Of course he didn't know dad that well either but better now that he had been living with him and Nigel. Dad was getting better. He was home more. So was Nigel now since the transplant. Dad said on the phone that that judge wanted to talk to him on Wednesday, tomorrow, to see who he wanted to live with. He wanted to live with dad and Nigel but not if it created trouble for them. Of course the judge wouldn't really listen to him. Who listened to him ? Nobody.

" You feel the way you choose to feel, Lewis. I can't tell you how to feel. Nobody can. It's really up to you and how you feel is perfectly valid. How are you sleeping lately? Anymore nightmares? "

Lewis looked from her serene dark face and shrewd eyes down to the thick carpeted floor. " No ," he lied. Then he swallowed hard and after a few seconds blurted out," Yes. I had one last night. Only it was different. "

" Different how ? "

" It was the same. The classroom. Everyone was there. Mr. Anderson who looked so scared. I had  never seen him that scared before. Luci. Sol. Richie. Others. Diamond.... Diamond was there. She had the gun. As usual. But my dad .... My dad was there..... He wasn't there in real life that day. I wanted him to be there though. Him and Nigel. To protect me. To help me. Help me and everyone. But they weren't. He was there in my dream though. Standing there in his judge robe. And he stood before me. Between me and Diamond. Diamond..... shot him ..... "

( Lewis woke up screaming for his father. Jamal sat up in his own bed and looked up at his roommate with fright on his face. " Lewis ! What happened ? Are you..... ok......? " )

Lynn leaned forward with the expression unchanged on her slightly lined face. " Diamond shot your father in your nightmare? "

" Yes ," he said in a trembling voice as his hands tightly gripped the arms of his chair in which he was sitting. He didn't want to discuss this. He wanted to get up and run. Back to his room. Back home. Anywhere. " But..... But ...... it wasn't her. Not really. It started out her but.... she became.....mom. I dreamed my mom shot my dad. I'm crazy, right? "