MS. ANTIPATIKA

CHAPTER 31

A/N:

Good morning sa lahat at ito na nga ang hinihintay niyong update. Ang ko-cute niyo kasi, patirid ng pimples niyo, dali!
Enjoy reading!
Warning ⚠️

Her Girlfriend

SHANA'S POV

I'm entirely exhausted because of what the day has given me, it was a little bit too much for me but I'm still fighting. Life is exhausting, so are people. It's always exhausting to deal with them everyday especially those douchebags. Exhaustion endlessly. I'm so lucky that chipmunk is always by my side to understand me in every situation. Yah I'm not denying it, she has been a great help to me ever since she came into my life even though a lot of it is just to annoy me. I don't know how she manages to make me feel whole again and comfortable around her, I can be who I am when I'm with her and she doesn't care. She even matches my energy. I've been doing childish things lately but she doesn't judge me, all she did was just be her authentic self. She catches all my rants and I'm expecting her to react differently when I'm about to show her that side of me but she weren't. She's so understanding and still annoying.

As I open the door of my room, I don't feel empty like I used to before. Before whenever I see the corners of my room, the ceiling, the bed, I always feel lonely. The loneliness that has always been with me after Antoinette passed away. The loneliness that can make me deaf. It is lurking everywhere I go, it's always been the missing piece that has been bothering me all through the years. She is the only piece that I thought could make the puzzle complete. She really is. I didn't expect that one day it'll be filled by someone other than Antoinette. I thought Antoinette cannot be replaced by someone in my heart and I thought I wouldn't love someone else like Antoinette. Chipmunk is not just someone right now, she is already holding so much space in my heart and that overwhelms me.

Time is cruel for both of us, Antoinette parents are not in favor of our relationship and so are mine. They literally hinder our love for each other when in fact it is not a sin to love each other but you know parents are parents, you have to obey them at all costs. Most of them are homophobic. Antoinette wasn't strong enough before to fight for us but I am willing to sacrifice everything that day for her. Guess what?

Next thing I know Alfonso impregnated her, I was so devastated. I begged my parents to just see her once and they let me, she couldn't even look at me in the eyes. All I could say to her is why? She didn't respond instead she only cried. I know it's her mistake and she doesn't want to admit it in front of me because she was also hurt but I was hurt more. I drowned myself in alcohol that day just to spare my shattered feelings but no matter how many bottles I chug up, it doesn't help to ease the pain. Our parents weren't that open minded that time because they're not knowledgeable enough about the concept of that stuff. They don't understand and they choose not to understand and to not give us a chance. I was so hopeless back then.

It only takes death for them to notice and accept that it is the reality of nowadays happenings. That is the only way I could think at that time but who cares, she's gone. It's too late. I didn't even have the chance to say goodbye or make peace to her after she passed away. I tried to see her but I couldn't bring myself to face her in person, all I did was just to watch her from afar. Being happy with her family, with her kid from another person. I thought that her pregnancy was just a lie to push me away but it was really true. I'm so shattered by the time Antoinette passed away, I really am, it's like one of my dreams has been snatched and has no longer the capacity for me to achieve it. No matter what I do, I can't achieve her anymore because she's gone, forever.

I opened the closet and pressed the button at the side, it opened and it led me to another room where my paintings and the other belongings that I and Antoinette have shared before that are now hidden. I always visit here if I feel gloomy thinking about Antoinette but I'm surprised that today, I visited here because I feel the opposite. I feel like coming here to show my old self that I am recovering from pain and someone else is making me happy right now. The pain is not excruciating anymore when I enter the room. The nostalgic event happens to her, the negative vibes that I always felt when entering here, I cannot feel it anymore.