Main and Buttercup fled into the dark forest, armed with a sword and a lute, respectively. The hellish chorus of fan girls continued behind them: "You don't know you're beautiffulll!"
Around the bonfire, Justin, Harry and Shawn faced off against the prowling enemy. They were outnumbered.
"It's you they want!" Justin said, turning to Harry. He pushed the Brit towards the encroaching mob.
*
"It can't be!" Harry United Kingdom'd. "You're the one they're after!" He hid behind Justin, who brushed a hand over his hair like a teen-aged boy. The fan girls squealed and pounced upon him. Justin screamed.
"Babies, there's enough of me to go around," he insisted, but the fan girls ignored him. His shirt was quickly shredded.
Meanwhile, Main and Buttercup continued on their fateful quest.
"When am I going to conquer the interwebz?" Main complained.
"Not until you've published the trolliest of all trollfics! You'll be as legendary as the author of My Immortal!" Buttercup Buttercup'd.
"I just wanna conquer things already," he muttered.
*
"Bind them!" came a shrill voice.
A young thirteen year old emerged as the leader of the fan pack. Her dress was a patchwork of band T-Shirts and movie references, crudely sewn together with red thread.
The boys exchanged worried glances, as she stared at them from behind thick glasses.
Ropes were bought forward. In the flickering light, their captors looked like demons.
After walking for what felt like forever, Main and his companion came to a large town with a massive draw-bridge. Soldiers guarded the entrance, playing cards on an upright barrel.
"I'll handle this," Buttercup said.
*
"Oh, no!" Shawn gasped. "She's thirteen! They're the worst ones!"
"No!" Harry gasped. "She's going to write...FANFICTION!"
The cheering of fan girls concealed the doomed screams of the trio.
Main let Buttercup take the lead. Slowly, she advanced forth, her lute cradled in her hands. Her full, pouting lips parted, and out came the song of her people:
YOU ARE READING
The misadventures of a Main Character [Complete]
Humor***Previously Wattpad Featured Story*** Meet your run-of-the-mill protagonist: Main Character. In this fantasy (spoof) of an epic adventure, Main embarks on a quest to conquer the world, guided only by the words of a drunkard, and a bolt of red ligh...
![The misadventures of a Main Character [Complete]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/52201321-64-k127755.jpg)