The misadventures of a Main Character [Complete]

LVII - "A casting call for Narrators"

  Helena cursed, and tossed her other shoe at Main. The red heel nearly took his eye out, but it knocked him from his stupor. 

"Let's do the t-time-warp again!" He shouted, shattering the final glass bottle at his feet.

Ignited by the mystic words, the circle of ingredients formed a billowing, spherical white mist around him. Everything faded. From Humdlerstink's outstretching hand, to the monstrous Typo moving towards Barney. The world melted away into greyness, and the pit of his stomach flopped, like he was falling. The Typo would surely devour Bernette - he made a mental note to try and resolve that. Outside his sphere of greyness, blurring shapes sped by. He hoped the spell was working, and that time was moving backwards. 

  Main sighed, and tapped his foot impatiently.  

*

"Previously, on The misadventures of (a) Main Character," a deep, enthused voice began.

Main glared upwards, looking for the source of the voice. "What the hell? This is a time-reversal, not a casting call for Narrators."

The booming voice cleared its throat, ignoring him. "Daring Mcyver Andrew has travelled far across the land, cities, dungeons, rivers, and on the backs of massive geese, on his quest to destroy the world."

Main swatted the air around him, trying to dislodge the Narrator. "Get out of here, I'm busy questing right now!" 

The greyness around him focussed on several of Main's memories, peculiarly in third person.

"But to save Buttercup from himself, he'll navigate the dangers of time itself.  Leaving his friends in grave peril to pursue an even more testing challenge."

The greyness panned over the Global Worming Conference, frozen again in time. The enraged Prince Humperdinck, all underwear and bleeding moustache cut, dominated the frame. Main frowned at Helena and Bevan, who looked to be sprinting away from the monstrous Typo pursuing them.

"I already know all of this," Main complained, as the shot zoomed out to showcase the battling kingdoms, Gregory's  flame breath slowly consuming the map. "Can we get on with it?"

Irritation had crept into the Narrator's voice. "Fine. If you're going to be so petulant, I won't hint at what's coming. No sneak peaks or anything. You don't deserve to know."

"Wait. What?"

A door slammed thunderously above him, and the Narrator said no more.

Main stared distractedly at the grey-ish mist. He realized 80s music was seeping in from somewhere. A room full of dresses began to materialize around him as the music grew louder, and painfully inspirational. Soon the mist was gone altogether. He had arrived.

"Main?" a very familiar voice asked.