The misadventures of a Main Character [Complete]

XXXVIII - Them feels

Bevan blushed. "It's worse. I mean, you stepped backwards, and lost your balance-" His expression became vacant, as if reliving a past trauma. "I'm so sorry; it happened so fast. You f-fell down the cliffs of Insanity Main! I killed you!" Then the ramble began: "So I embarked on a seven year quest to break the known rules of time and space to save you. I succeeded last week. It worked. I thought we could s-start over when you woke up... but you're still in love with Buttercup."

Thunder boomed through the air. Main didn't move for several minutes. At last, he popped open the Champagne.

Bevan sniffed. "You don't hate me?"

"Well, I kinda do now," Main muttered.

*

Bevan sniffled. "It seemed like a good idea at the time. Besides, you're about to engage an entire kingdom in combat -- the audience needed some questions to be answered first. And you're fine now, so no biggie."

"The way you act like it's not a big deal really improves my opinion of you."

"Wow... Really?!" 

"It's sarcasm, genius!" Main glared at Bevan, who cowered.

"So... you do hate me?"

"I don't 'hate' you, " He shook his head. "I don't know, I haven't decided yet!"

Bevan sniffled. "I'll, uh... I'll come and face King Humperdinck with you; it's the least I can do. We can find out what really happened, together."

"You'll come with me?" Main buried his face in his hands, frustrated. "And do what, Bevan? Turn me against my friends again? Lie to me? Run away when I actually need you?"

"I'll-"

"You'll what? You'll what?! What more could you possibly do to me? Bevan, I'll never see Buttercup again! I missed winning her heart, I missed her wedding, I even missed her funeral! All because of you!"

"I'm sorry," Bevan blurted.

Main stared at the expository character for a moment. Then he sighed, slumping back on the couch. "Me too," he muttered. "I just... Between this crazy prophecy and Buttercup dead, it's a rough time."