The misadventures of a Main Character [Complete]

LXXI - The purple flea

Main stumbled as he landed on the tiles, slick with his blood.

"Main!" Helena said, blinking. "How did you survive that?"

Buttercup was next to appear, met by a chorus of stunned "Ooh"s

"Great, the time-travel worked!" Bevan said. "That was a close one."  

"Almost, say, a single typo too close, Bevan?" Main muttered, his voice still heavy with betrayal.

*

"It didn't work in the slightest," Buttercup cut in. "I'd explain, but it's not important to the reader's journey anymore." 

"Fair enough," Bevan said.

Buttercup hugged the edges of her wedding gown away from the red sludge coating the floor, and turned to Prince Humperdinck. "We're 100% through, by the way."  

"Is that so?" Humperdinck sneered. "Guards, arrest them!" He glanced about the dignitaries in the room, seemed to realize that he'd neglected to hire guards and his state of undress simultaneously, and fled the hall.

Helena ran up to hug Main, and the crowd went wild for the success of the mission.  Main could barely summon the effort to hug her back. He tried and failed to smile.

*

The crowd was so enamored with the exploding hero who'd resurrected Buttercup, that no one noticed Nemesis as he entered with a practiced superhero-landing/dab combination. 

"Oh, not again!" Nemesis said. "Come on, I actually saved both of their sorry lives just now, didn't anyone see that? Anyone?"

 Buttercup mouthed, "Thank you," over the cheering of the crowd. Crowd surfing, she tried to redirect the current towards him.

A deep rumbling rattled the earth. 

"The worms," Nemesis gasped. He pulled his hood over his head. "Evacuate citizens! I'll protect you!"   

The citizens dropped the heroes like stones and fled, screaming.

Nemesis rounded on Main. "I forbid you from stealing this fight's glory."

"It's not like I was volunteering to help," Main said, crossing his arms.

"Do not so much as argue with a single, regular, earthworm," Nem said, readying his katana. He tugged the shoelaces on his combat boots. "Get Buttercup to safety, that's more important to you than the fate of the world, anyway."

*

Navigating the shaking earth, Main, Buttercup, Bevan, and Helena, raced out of the crumbling kingdom and over a swing bridge that had failed several engineering examinations. Taking a whiff of Main, Helena nudged him into the waters below for a pre-falling-action dip. He emerged shivering, though uncharacteristically clean. A sea-breeze tugged at the Prince's stolen shirt, as Main wrung out the clingy white fabric.

On distant hillside, Main was surprised to see Greg lumbering over the hillside towards them. They exchanged stories, and watched Nemesis battle the Global Worming apocalypse. It looked like a bowl of Udon noodles had been spilt over the city. One purple flea with a sword fought against them, while the pink specs of the flamingo battalion cut them to slithers with their razor sharp beaks. The ground shook dramatically, as entire city of Flourin was gradually pummeled into ground.

"Don't you think we should help?" Buttercup asked, as Nemesis was thrown through several consecutive skyscrapers.

"DON'T YOU DARE INTERFERE, MCGYVER!" Nemesis shrieked in the distance.

The sun began to set over the ocean. It stained the waves the colour of desire, and cast dramatic shadows over the fight for the fate of the world. Main took a deep breath. It was now or never. He reached out and held Buttercup's hand.