The misadventures of a Main Character [Complete]

XXXIX - "Surely nothing else could go wrong now, right?"

Main Character decided against sharing his Champagne with the semi-traitor. He upended the entire bottle into his mouth.

"Main? That's probably not a good idea," Bevan said quietly.

"Why not? Everything else I've done has worked out fine," he spat. "Tomorrow we can go to Humperdinck's castle, figure out what really happened to Buttercup. Maybe they have some villagers we can interrogate, or some security footage."

"Will you plunder, or maybe raze the kingdom to the ground?"

"I'm not in the mood. I'm going to bed."

*

"Oh," Bevan tried, but Main had already stood up from the couch. Bevan watched storm away, and sighed.

"I really am sorry."

**

The next day dawned early for our "hero". Main groaned, his head pounding from downing an entire bottle of champagne the night prior. He stood up, and the world swayed slightly. But who was he, to let a little drunkenness halt the advancing plot? 

There was a (foolproof) plan in place already: find Humperdinck, save Buttercup, marry Buttercup, take over world. Surely nothing else could go wrong now, right?

Main Character instantly cursed himself.

Now something would SURELY go wrong.  

*

He walked outside, to find the charred corpse of one of the Wilde geese, smoking in the morning sunlight. "What happened?" he yelled at Helena, staggering over to her.

"Well, Trotter got hungry, so he had to drink something, and these geese had very proportionally large brains... so I dug in too. I made breakfast," she said helpfully, gesturing to the biggest omelette Main had ever seen. "The other one got away," she added.

Main tripped over and collapsed to the ground, groaning.

"Are you hungover?" A voice from inside Helena's shirt inquired.

He groaned. "It's pretty bad. I'm hearing voices coming from your stomach."