Beautiful (Crowns Of Bearers # 1) !EDITED!

~ • The Love and Hate~

Aleyna's P.O.V.

I was busy being a bookworm at the moment when my phone suddenly rings, I diverted my eyes from the book to my phone. It was a call from Blaze, I've never really had the chance to talk to him after my party yesterday, I got really busy entertaining some of the other guests that the time I wanted to talk to him got forgotten. Just when I was about to press the call button, the call then suddenly ended...

"That's strange, Hannah never dropped the calls when she's talking to me" I knitted my eyebrows. Then my youngest brother suddenly marched inside my room, he looks a bit frantic but tried to act a bit cool.

"Can't you knock?"

"Have you seen the bracelet I bought the other day?" He asked not even bothering to answer my question, it seems very important to him... I wonder why...

Actually that bracelet was actually his gift for Hannah, I overheard his conversion with Sooyoung, which owns a jewelry industry company. Our jewelries all came from her, she gave us gifts in the past, a friendship watch with our birthstones inside the watch, Tao was able to help her as Tao's company were also creating clocks in the market.

"Hmmm, I gave it to Hannah already" I flipped the pages of the book suddenly removing my interest on reading the content

"What?!!" He bawled

"What do you mean 'what'? It's not like I stole it from someone and gave it to her and its for hers anyway" I reprimanded, rolling flat on my stomach.

"But what if-"

"What if she'll know what your feelings are?" I asked sitting up from the edge of the bed. He shooked his head and sat on my desk table, this guy has the guts to mess up with Hannah but his balls gets cut off when he confesses?...

"That's what I hate about boys. You're always thinking about negative thoughts, why don't you try to figure everything out. If anything happens atleast you tried to pursue your goal to ask her out."

"You know? The boys are really right, you really sound like mom. You can get annoying at times" he insulted me again. I ruffled his hair and and faked a smile showing how 'Grateful' I am.

"I'm trying to be serious here okay?"

"Well then keep trying. It doesn't suit you" He replied also playing with my books, he remained inside my room and probably wants to talk to me for a while.

"Be thankful I am helping you and building you up so Hannah would fall for you, in only a matter of time I think she'll also fall for you"

"How did you know that I like her? I might only be pretending to be with her, to get along with her to make you think that we're already friends"

"Your actions might be pretending but your eyes can't ever pretend, you'll see it in the eyes of a man or a woman if he or she is in love. You'll see the spark, the love and even the way you stare at her makes other people know how much she means to you, the way you stared at Hannah, the way you smiled at her direction every time. I know and I understand that you do love her"

"Was that how you felt when you were in love? Was that how you felt when you were happy? When you were looking at the man you wanted to live your eternity with?"

That question strucked a nerve... but that was true... I wouldn't lie and I wouldn't keep the truth away from my brother. He deserves to know as well since it's about his sister and his friend...

"That was what I had, that was what I still wanted to have up till now... I just am not sure how and when"

"But where did you get those lessons or words of wisdom you taught me earlier? Is it from Blaze?"

That question caught me offguard. I felt a big lump on the throat and a massive headache approaching. I diverted my eyes and lied back down, I saw him heaved a sigh and decided to change the topic.

He was right... those words were the first thing I learned from Blaze, he told me so many times that in love you need to try to risk everything you can...

"But on a serious matter, do you hate him?" I shooked my head, telling him no...

Even if he left me in the past, even if he didn't keep contact with me... I don't hate him when I know I should. I don't hate him because I know he has his own reasons, I don't hate him because I know he also wanted to have things his own way, he also wanted to be independent...

"Then do you love him?" I blankly stared at him and decided not to answer his question anymore...

I still love him...

That's the truth but I'm afraid to tell him, I'm afraid for him leaving me once more...

"Sometimes two people needs to fall apart to realize how much they need to fall back together. Don't you realize? Do you think that everything he does for you is only just as a friend? Do you think he'll still be here by your side knowing that you hate him? Are you really that ignorant? Don't you think that he's also having a hard time approaching you because of the past? You're not the only one hurting Aleyna, even Blaze is so please talk to him"

I closed my eyes trying to analyze everything. Andre is right, it made me realized how Blaze wanted to stay by my side even if I tried to reject him and turn him down everytime. He wanted to fight for me until the end but I guess I was too heartless to notice that. I didn't noticed that he was also in grief, sadness and pain.

"Knowing Blaze. He'll never give up on you even if you're worth billions and trillions of gold. He'll find a way to get you back even if it means risking his life for you"