Soraru x Mafumafu

A Letter to Soraru-san (One-shot)

Dear Soraru-san,

I know it might be weird for me to suddenly write a letter to you when you're already by my side all the time but I just had the urge to do it yesterday. The probability of me handing this to you might only be 20 out of 100.

Do you remember the time when we first met and you were not even looking at me at all? We were having dinner together with some of our friends and you kept your head lowered the whole time. You knew how much I liked Soraru-san back then, and of course, I still do, which you also knew about it (considering our relationship now), I had to know what you were doing so I took a peek from under the table and it turned out that you were playing some sort of new game on your phone. It was as if the game was more important than befriending me.

After that, I continued pestering you, looking for a chance to spend more time with you. You might not have realised but there were a few times when we were doing namahousous*, you were hungry and told me to get you food which I refused, saying something like "But it's cold outside!" or "It'd be rude if I left during the namahousou" as an excuse. I didn't want to lose a single second spent with you. There were also times when I suggested that we eat out together after the namahousou ends and there would be comments like "Mafu-kun is trying to get Soraru-san to spend more time with him!" It's true, I wanted to stay with you.

There was that time when I could not keep control of the things around me and I was frustrated. Things started happening, I lost friends, and then got them back again after some time, etcetera. It was tough. It hurt. I cried myself to sleep every night, tried asking for help but no one came. Except for you. Soraru-san, you came, and saved me. It was already late at night and yet you came to my place as fast as you can by cab and listened to me talk for more than an hour. You, who knew about the truth, protected me from a lot of things and for that, I don't know how to thank you but please let me stay by your side and let me have a chance to make you happy.

I knew. I knew that your dream partner has big chests and a nice body. Looking down at myself as I'm writing this, all I could say is that I'm sorry. Mafu is not a female to begin with. I cannot carry your child. That is the most regrettable thing to me in our relationship. I cannot help but want to apologise to you every time. It hurts inside when I think about it. I'm so sorry.

But even so, I want to be with you. It may seem really selfish of me but please, just this once, let me be selfish for once. I want Soraru-san. I need Soraru-san because I love Soraru-san.

I appreciate the days where you turned from Tsunraru-san to Dereru-san, you have no idea how much you made my heart skip every time you whispered sweet nothings in my ear just to tease me. The kisses you gave me, the hugs we shared. I also have another thing to apologise for. I know that you would say "I love you" and kiss me on the forehead every night when you get in bed with me after I fell asleep. As to why I knew, it was because I pretended that I was asleep that night while waiting for you to come into the bedroom and that was when I knew.

As I mentioned at the beginning of this letter, I don't think I would show you this letter any time soon but if you ever come across this letter, well, I'll have to see how I would react by then.

Until then!

With plenty of love,

Mafumafu.

A/N: This was something I wrote a while ago but didn't publish because I thought it could have been better and it somehow turned out into something I'd liked the letter to be so here it is. Two chapters on Valentine's Day.