Soraru x Mafumafu

Mine - Chapter 6

Warning: Most of it would be in a first-person perspective!

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I used to really like the rain.

I liked the sound it makes whenever they landed on a hard surface, the humidity of the air after the rain, and how sometimes I get to see a rainbow when the rain lets up.

That was not all.

I liked the rain because it was cold, and it gave me a reason to snuggle into Soraru-san's arms and let him hug me as he read through some journal articles for his thesis on the couch. I liked the rain because Soraru-san would always smile at me and say, "Since you can't do the laundry today, I can have you all for myself," as he drops a kiss on the top of my head. I liked the rain because it was the first time when we held hands in public, just like how any normal couples would do under the roof outside of the coffee shop that I go to frequently.

But then I started disliking the rain recently.

It was because of the rain I couldn't get out of the house to get some fresh air outside. Being forced to stay at home like this was suffocating to me, this place that was full with traces of Soraru-san.

He came to my place often so I bought a bowl especially for him. He'd put in the ready-to-eat white rice that you could normally get at any convenience store in Japan into the microwave, cook up some stir-fried vegetables and salt-grilled mackerel, and place them on two separate plates, one for me and one for him. My portion would always be bigger than his, and he'd help me get rid of the bones in my fish because I mentioned to him once that I disliked eating fish as I was afraid I might choke on them. Back then, I couldn't believe he even bothered to remember something as silly as that.

"Are you a kid? Stop being picky with your food," he would complain as he picked out each and every bone there was in my fish, and I would hum happily in my seat across him at how he still does it even though he was obviously upset about it.

"But I'm not!" I would say.

And he would give me a snort and roll his eyes at me before he uses his chopsticks to pick up a mouthful of rice from his bowl and bring it into his mouth, quickly throwing in a piece of fish or two before he chews on them slowly. I loved watching him use the bowl I got him.

I also got him a sky-blue coloured mug, and would grin from ear to ear like an idiot when I see him use it. He'd have the cup by his lips, and cock a brow at me, quietly questioning my manner. I would just say "It's nothing!" in a sing-song voice before I take the coffee jug into the kitchen for more coffee.

But I kept them away now since Soraru-san wasn't going to come here anymore. I couldn't bear to see them beside my dinnerware.

I went shopping alone that one time, walking aimlessly in the mall after I got Soraru-san his toothbrush, and then I just stopped in front of a shop that had this really nice greyish-blue blanket. I bought it without hesitation because I was aware that I tend to hog the blanket for myself. With this, Soraru-san didn't have to feel cold at night anymore, I thought. I still kept the blanket I bought for Soraru-san. But no matter how many blankets I used to cover myself now at night, I would stare out my window as I lied down on my back, and tried to remember, to remember how to go to sleep alone at night.

"Since when did the bed turn this cold?" I would wonder. I knew the reason to it, but I didn't want to accept it.

I sat by the window, in an armchair Soraru-san picked.