Soraru x Mafumafu

Mine - Chapter 8

Warning: Most of it would be in a first-person perspective!

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"... Here,"

What I had in front of me was a T-shirt I could change into.

"I've had the water ready, so go take a bath," Soraru-san said, turning back to his closet to look for a pair of comfortable pants for me. Then as if he just realised something, he turned around and looked at me. "... I'm not going to do anything to you, so you don't have to worry about that,"

I hugged the T-shirt against myself, burying half of my face into it, closing my eyes, and nodded. It smelled like detergent, but it certainly had Soraru-san's scent. I opened my eyes and looked back at Soraru-san's back. He said he wouldn't do anything to me.

... But I was hoping he would.

"You still remember which ones are the shampoo and conditioner?" Soraru-san asked as he turned back at me, passing me a pair of grey sweatpants that he always wears to bed. I quickly looked away, muttering my gratitude as I received it, and then nodded to his question.

He then said nothing else, and placed a hand on my head as he ruffled my hair up gently. It was Soraru-san's habit, to pat me on the head. I froze in place, not knowing how I should react to it. He stopped, seeming a little stunned at his own actions, he apologised. I shook my head at him, stood up, and ran into the changing room without saying anything more to him.

I slammed the door behind me, and slowly slid down until my knees touched the ground.

Breathe, I told myself.

Ever since I heard Soraru-san told me those words that I had longed to hear from him after the first time I heard him say them in the library in his sleep, my mind was not working as it should, my heart was pounding against my ribcage so hard it made it difficult to breathe. I knew that this shouldn't happen, but I couldn't stop from giving in. I needed him, I wanted him.

I wanted him to make me his, and him mine.

I looked up at the ceiling. When did I start acting so selfish? I never once caused trouble to my parents when I was younger because I didn't want them to worry about me, so I listened to all of their absurd requests, and did what I was told. I never threw a tantrum, not even when they forgot about my birthday or forgot about my very existence and lost me; not bothering to even look for me back when I was lost in the park, not even when they threw me out of the house because I was useless, unlike my elder brother, they said.

It all began after I met Soraru-san. I started relying and depending on him, letting him in to my heart, letting him break every last piece of ice there was in there with his warmth, gentleness, and kindness. I'd always ask for more from him, and he'd always give me more than what I asked for. I ended up getting weaker and softer. I knew all of these from the start but one thing I didn't expect was that I eventually ended up broken when I broke up with him. That was when I knew I couldn't lose Soraru-san.

As realization dawned upon me, my eyes widened.

I stood up, opened the door, and poked my head out. And there Soraru-san was, looking back at me, looking all surprised. I opened my mouth, wanting to say something but nothing came out, so I tried again and again until I managed to sound audible.

"... Are you not going to join me, Soraru-san...?"

I had never seen Soraru-san this shocked before, and this made it even more embarrassing for me. I shook my head vigorously at him, denying whatever it was he had going in his mind right now. I was aware what I just said was suggestive, and if possible, I wanted to hide in a hole right now.