Ask Craig and his 'non-friends'

Vivethemouse

Damien, how do you fell about blowing up Pip at Cartman's birthday party when you guys were kids?

Damien: in a way, I'm glad I did it. Because of that, I felt so bad that I actually apologised and came back to earth for a little while

Pip: it's how we became great friends in our youth!

Craig: wait, you blew Pip up? Why didn't I see this?!

Damien: where you not at Cartman's birthday party?

Craig: oh that's why, I hate Cartman so I didn't go

Damien when did you realise you loved Pip?

Damien: his first week in hell, he came to me all scratched and bruised and beaten from other demons. He wanted me to help him, and it made me look at him in a way that was more than friendship

Craig: beaten up by demons?

Pip: please don't remind me, I'm positive I still have burns from them, but they would never pull a stunt like that now

Craig: why?

Damien: because they know my father and I would destroy them, or worse, send them to the Mormons in heaven

Craig: if the Mormons looked like Gary Harrison, I'd want to go up

Pip, when did you realise you loved Damien?

Pip: when we first kissed. It wasn't anything super romantic and planned out, it was an accident. I tripped and fell on top of Damien and it happened, I'm not going into any other unimportant events that occurred after the accidental kiss, but it was when I knew

Damien: *smirks*

Craig: *cringes* thanks for the mental image Pip

On a scale of 1-10, how hot is Damien?

Craig: 10

Damien: I thought I reminded you of Stan marsh and had creepy eyes?

Craig: I may have lied

Damien: *eyes flash and shine*

Craig: wow *stares dreamily*

Pip: I'm standing right here Damien

Damien: *scoops Pip up in his arms and kisses him* I know, I was messing. I love you

Pip: *smiles* I love you too! And, you're more than a ten in my books

Craig: *out of his Damien trance* Jesus, don't do that again you could've killed me. It felt like my heart had literally exploded

Damien: oops

On a scale of 1-10, how cute is Pip?

Craig: you are very cute

Pip: *blushes* oh! Why thank you Craig!

Damien: you're especially cute when you're angry

Pip: you're not supposed to think I'm cute when I'm angry! I'm angry for a reason Damien

Damien: usually it's just because you complain about being smothered in my arms while sleeping

Pip: well, with the fact that we live in hell and your body heat is higher than normal it gets very hot and stuffy

Damien: but in reality, you aren't that angry, you can't resist me

Pip: oh shush

YOU TWO ARE ONE OF MY OTPS! WHY CAN'T I HUG YOU GUYS?!

Damien: because this is through the power of the Internet

Pip: but, if you ever came to South Park  I would hug you!