In Darkness and In Light

I'll Dream of her.

{Zak}

Day 2...

"Zak?" Cece spoke breaking my concentration off the water bottle sat on the table.

"Yeah?"

"Do you need me to do anything else for you?" She asked looking concerned.

My eyes drifted to the clock seeing it was 7pm.

"Nah. I'm okay, you head home. I'll ring if I need anything."

"Sure? I could make you some dinn-"

"I'm fine. Please just go home and enjoy time with your partner." I answered rubbing my temples.

With a somber nod she collected her bag and left. The silence settled in the house again as I looked at Gracie asleep on the couch.

I'd had tried ringing the storage company, just to try and extract any amount of evidence but it was fruitless.

I could hunt ghosts and demons which were invisible but not a human being?!

I couldn't trace her phone which was sat on my coffee table, fully charged incase she rang. But the call never came.

"This is stupid." I whispered to myself.

Standing up I left the lounge and went into the bedroom changing my shoes for running ones. I hadn't been sleeping well so I figured that running would either tire me out to sleep or I could run all night, that was as long as I took my inhalers.

With Gracie on her extendable leash we headed out into the private community. The sun had set earlier in the evening leaving a night sky to slowly roll it's way in. Going to a large glass plot, I began jogging slowly, Gracie sensed the routine and began trotting beside me keeping up. After a lap I stopped and took my inhaler before I let Gracie off and began jogging again, slowly turning into a run and finally a sprint.

My lungs would burn, my legs would ache from the lack of resistance in them until I ground to a stop and took a breather before doing it all over again until I could only just put one foot in front of the other and take myself home.

Once inside I tossed my keys down and changed Gracie's water, giving her some kibble before I headed to the bathroom to take a shower.

The hot water burned my skin as I washed my body, I took my time spending most of it thinking back to the times I would be in here known Robyn would be laid on the bed in her nightdress sorting photos or with my glasses perched on her nose looking all seductive.

I shook my head and stepped out wrapping a towel around my waist. Looking at my reflection, I could see what Aaron meant. I looked awful, the bags under my eyes, the paleness of my skin and the beard I had began growing.

I was in a bad way.

I couldn't think of where she would be, I hoped for my sake she was in the country. I'd drive across the country to get to her in a heartbeat but I didn't have the stomach to board a plane. I couldn't think because right now I wasn't the same Zak she walked away from.

Picking up the razor I twisted it around looking at the blades.

I needed to think like I used to.. I needed to be me.

Using shaving foam I lathered up my face and began shaving. Every nick that I got, I hissed and continued determined to finish.

Washing my face off I stepped back seeing the signature goatee, I debated on cutting my hair, but I knew that was a bad idea. I almost scoffed hearing Robyn telling me it was a bad idea. I scrubbed my teeth and flossed before shutting off the light.

Leaving the bathroom I changed and plugged my phone into charge as well as having Robyn's phone beside mine just incase..

I looked out across the Vegas skyline from the bedroom balcony, the small lights seemed so dim but I knew that being down on the strip? It felt like daylight no matter what time. Seeing the moon I stood watching it for a while, whilst the slight glimmer of stars appeared all around it.

"If anyone is watching me up there? Anyone.. Please just help me make amends. Help me find her."

*******

That night I dreamt of her, the softness of her hair between my fingers, the length covering my arm. How the brunette hair almost looked foreign when the sun shone down illuminating the different colours in the brunette, the golds, browns, blacks and even red strands working together to create her perfect locks.

Her eyes, wide, full of excitement and life. The deep brown almost convincing me they were black but when the sun caught them? Just like her hair, the colours in them illuminated. The honey and earthy tones.

Her small cute button nose that ran down to a pair of slightly reddened lips from her constant chewing and biting. But despite the stress she put her bottom lip under, I knew it would be rose petal soft.

Her arm draped across my chest and leg slotted between mine..

She was speaking, telling me something but the more I asked what she was saying the more I couldn't hear. I lip read the words 'I love you.'

But if she did, then how could she leave me, leave the crew?!

Maybe she was saying she loathed me, it would make more sense.

The dream seemed to perfect, almost real but I knew it wasn't as I knew Robyn wasn't here. She had left us all behind and now she was moving house.

I always thought it was fate pulling us together, I never imagined it could be fate now keeping us apart. 12 years of bad relationships, women and choices and for the first time in my life I thought I had it right. I thought I had it worked out.

How wrong was I?

I had been left more hurt and dissembled than anyone I'd ever met. I was hopelessly in love with a woman I couldn't find.