In Darkness and In Light

This is us now.

5 years later...

{Zak POV}
 
I put the car in park and looking into the rear view mirror looking at Cayden. His face bunched up as he drove one of his small hot wheels cars across his leg whilst making the noise of a car completely oblivious to where he was.

My eyes moved to the scene outside the car, rows upon rows of headstones, littered with flowers and colours. Taking the keys out of the ignition, I opened the car door and picked up the bouquet of white roses.

Taking a small breath, I got out and unstrapped Cayden from his seat before placing him down taking his hand.

"Daddy, my car!" He spoke reaching for the small red car.

"Bring your car then." I smiled gently before closing the door and headed towards the familiar plot.

It was now autumn, the tree leaves were turning orange and red before they would make their final journey to the ground beneath our feet.

"Crunchy leaves." Cayden smiled pushing his dinosaur Wellington boots into the damp pile most likely collected from the cemetery groundsmen.

"You like them don't you?" I smiled as he temporarily let go of my hand to kick them up.

"Yeah! Let's go find mommy!" He called racing ahead.

I lifted my hand locking the car with the fob, hearing the clunk of the locks, I carried on keeping my eyes trained on the little blue Parker coat. The fur of Cayden's coat bounced along as he ran.

I looked at the small windmills lined up on a graveside, twisting and churning from the small gusts of wind that crept up, remind everyone that even though the sun is out, that autumn was very much here.

Turning off, I weaved my way up through the gravelled path until I paused. Cayden was knelt down rubbing the headstone with his gloved hands. "Daddy. Flowers."

I pulled a smile as he got up and ran back to me taking the flowers carefully before rushing back. As I approached, I watched his small body place them down.

"There you go mummy." He smiled. He collected his cars and walked off sitting on the bench opposite. Twisting his body as he made the sound effects of a skidding tyres.

"Hey." I whispered. "You left so soon.."

"I'm sorry, I just-" Robyn's eyes looked up to me, blood shot and slightly puffy.

"I know baby." I whispered wrapping my arm around her shoulders.

"I was the same age as Cayden when I lost them both. I just, I can't imagine being away from him." She replied shaking her head gently.

I stroked back her hair softly bringing my lips to the side of her head. "Don't punish yourself like this." I whispered.

"I was just so small, you know? I didn't understand, his biggest problem is his red car not being in the same place as he left it. Mine was surviving in a orphanage.."

She took a shaky breath before looking at the sky to get more oxygen. "Beautiful isn't it? The trees."

"Yeah."

"My favourite season. As you well know." She smiled slightly.

I stayed quiet as she looked back at her parents grave. "I dreamt of them last night, that I was walking through a park and Cayden, he uh, he ran into my dads arms. My mom pulling his face to hers as she smothered him in kisses... But when I woke, I realised that will never happen. He will never meet them, stay over their house, help my dad tinkering in the garden, you know?"