In Darkness and In Light

Settling a score

Assessing myself in the mirror, I nodded at my choice of outfit. Good enough for comfort and appropriate enough if I had to step out into the real world.

I threw my hair up into a messy bun and draped the cream cardigan over my arm before leaving the bedroom.

I crept around the house in afternoon sun, at first I questioned if Zak was still here having not seen him in the bedroom or if he'd gone to the museum. Passing through the lounge I dumped the cardigan on the back of the couch. But as I made myself some breakfast in the kitchen, I felt his presence behind me.

The façade of being strong, forceful and abrupt dwindled in seconds as his lips met my neck gently. My hands froze on the food in front of me as his lips continued their soft assault moving to the tip of my shoulder and back to my neck.

I closed my eyes trying to focus on the task in hand as well as why we were in this situation to begin with. That being his little kink.

"Why can't I be mad at you? Like you're mad at me?" He breathed into my ear. I almost asked why he would be angry with me when I remembered last night and the photo. My fingers gripped the marble kitchen island as I swallowed hard.

"Don't shut me away, don't push me away.. We have been through way to much. Robyn what I said, it was wrong, disgusting and I'm sorry." He whispered drawing his nose along my shoulder.

"W-what part?" I stuttered, chiding myself for sounding weak.

His hand touched my stomach making me gasp and tense up. "Call me weak but it's the only way I can deal with it... I know it's wrong of me to think of the baby that way but if I don't. I get angry."

I frowned "Angry?"

"Yeah. I feel pure aggression, worse than I've ever felt like it before. I have questions, I need answers too and we won't find them in this world. Like why us? When all these deadbeat parents litter kids, why we.. Two people who love each other can't have one.. This one."

I almost choked on my breath as the scan photo appeared in front of me. He'd been through my things since waking to find that...

"It wasn't meant to be." I mumbled.

His head rested between my shoulders "Why? Why do we always get the rough end of the deal? Why are you always knocked back down?"

I looked at my little prawn before straightening myself "This isn't about the baby."

Strong, forceful, abrupt.

"You took my suggestion in a different light."

"Different lig- What's hard to understand that you want another woman?" I asked.

I tried to move out from in front of him but his hands clamped on the marble surface trapping me.

"I do want another woman." He whispered amping up the anger in my heart.