Innerworks

11. Sleep

To those new on the Angst Train... I'm sorry ;)

----

"-oMaS!"
"tHoMaS!"
"THOMAS!"

"Huh- Wha-?!" He jolted up at the shout, mind utterly confused as he sat up, his heart was racing but he couldn't figure why-"Morality?"

Thomas blinked, then rubbed his eyes, he was so tired it took him a moment to realize. He was the only on the bed.

Wide eyes and shaking voice, he faced the Parental personality.

"W-where are the others? Where's Anxiety? He-he didn't fade did he?"

Dad looked panicked, a feeling of dread began to fester in the host. Morality shook his head but that didn't make him feel any better.

"H-he's ok, but y-you, are you alright?"

"What no, I'm fine?-"

"You're bleeding Thomas"

The Parent still looked panicked but the dread in his voice...

Thomas raised his fingers to his lips, he pulled away.

They were stained red.

------

Out from its secluded nest covered in shadows, a blue creature awoke, its black beady eyes narrowing. It had a mission, to find a particular person or personality if you will.

With unsurprising stealth and speed, the creature's lithe blue form slipped away from the large shady tree it resided in and reached a window, the objective was almost complete all it had to do now was-

The creature blinked, the room was empty, again; the one it sought was not there and hadn't been for the past four days.

The creature was beginning to get fed up, maybe it was time to find him.

-----

"Ouch!"

"Thom-"

"It's ok Morality, I'm fine-"

"No you're not, Thomas that's blood and a lo-"

"Calm down, I'm ok, I just bit my lip see? I'm ok, I promise"

The manifestor tugged and bent his lower lip, easily showing the deep cuts and teeth shaped indents on the inner of the pinkened flesh.

About two of the deeper cuts were bleeding, hence the reason the boy's fingers were stained red.

Morality squinted at it, until Thomas let go of his lip in favor of running his tongue over the cuts....and then wincing in pain afterwards.

At seeing this Dad sighed, with a bowed head he placed his hands under his glasses and stayed like that for a few moments. The manifestor looked at him worriedly, the Parental's behaviour was anything but normal.

"Morality?" He questioned, tentatively reaching out to him as the other kept his face covered. Before he could touch the deep emotion, the Parent moved his hands.

With a small exhale, Morality looked up at him, now the boy could see that though his face was dry and his eyes weren't quite that red, his eye lashes were very moist, enough so to leave tiny trails on the lens of his glasses.

Without a word Dad pulled Thomas into a hug and the host wholly accepted it, with eyes widening at the pace of which the Parent's heart was beating, he scared Morality.

He realized this even more when the personality squeezed him a bit. Feeling guilty, Thomas rubbed and patted the other's back, Morality just hugged him tighter and the boy could swear he heard a small choked sob.

"I'm ok, I promise"

"I know, you just...gave me a bit of a- a scare, that's all"

"I'm sorr-"

"It's not your fault, I was...it just... first Anxiety and then you- I... I thought-"

"Hey its ok, I get what you mean, I was pretty surprised too, but I guess it is actually my fault-"

"What?" The Parent's voice became hoarse.

"Mom always said to stop biting my lips when I was worried", said Thomas with a small chuckle. "Who knew it would come back to bite me?!"

Morality chuckled too, his body and shoulders shaking in the hug, the host said nothing when he felt droplets of moisture on his back, he simply hugged the other tighter.

-----

The embrace lasted for a good ten minutes.

He couldn't help it, he was worried, he knew he shouldn't have broken down, but other than Prince's very small one, he was the only one who hadn't.

He was the deep emotion for gosh sake, he helped the Royal calm down when they were looking for Anxiety, he helped Thomas sort out his feelings the second the boy ran upstairs, he helped Logan deal with his after the Teacher's apology to Anxiety, he helped Anxiety calm down after his fit, granted the younger was unconscious, but he helped.

He helped them all, talking softly to them, encouraging them to calm down(Prince), letting them know that blaming themselves was not the answer (Thomas), congratulating them for speaking from the heart (Logic) and reminding them how to breath (Anxiety).

He helped them.

But who helped him?

Anxiety was the youngest personality, he was a mere child, sure a particularly dark and dark loving child, but he was a child none the less. The younger didn't act like it often, but Morality knew, he was a father after all, he knew that certain things the other+-s said hurt him and he tried his best to be there for Anxiety, with an encouraging comment and a small smile, but he couldn't be everywhere at once.

He already watched over Thomas and the other five children, he didn't always time to watch over Anxiety and he hated it. He was the eldest Personality, the most prominent emotion, he was a father, guide, and protector.

To see Anxiety sick and bleeding meant he failed as an emotion, father and guide, to see Thomas bleeding meant he failed at all that and at being a protector. To have them both down meant he failed, utterly and completely.

And he was scared. To fail meant death, as the first Manifestation and the prominent personality, he had a job, managing and helping all the younger personalities and emotions while yet still protecting Thomas.

If he failed an emotion could disappear and a part of Thomas would be forgotten, or a personality would fade and Thomas would be injured, or even worse, Thomas could die simply because Morality wasn't there for him. And if Thomas died, they all died and it would have all been because of his failure.

He sniffled.

He couldn't let anything bring him down....or the rest would follow with him.

He needed to stop.

Thomas was ok, and Anxiety said he felt better, he was a bit sketchy on that one but still, they were both alive, he didn't fail completely, they were ok enough and he was going to make sure they were going to get better.

He put himself together.

He wiped his eyes carefully and quietly, he was scared for Thomas and he was pretty sure he was scaring Thomas.

So he did what he did best, he plastered on a smile, not a big one of course, that would hardly be believable in this case.

He pulled away.

Gently Morality eased his way out of the hug, Thomas was looking at him worriedly.

"Sorry", he apologized.

"It's ok, I'm worried too"

Not as worried as me.

"I need to ask you something"

"Yes?", he looked up at the boy, unaware that his thoughts caused him to stray to the floor.

"What exactly is fading?"

Morality tensed.

------

"Where did you hear that one from?"

"You and Logic, it was the same day you told us that Anxiety was sick, and I went upstairs-"

"You said you were going to take a nap"

"I did, but I heard you guys speaking about it from in my room"

"Oh", the Parental's face was blank.

"What does it mean? Well I think I know what it means, but what happens to the personality, what happens to me?"

Morality swallowed thickly before answering, the boy had a right to know, but he didn't want to scare him further.

"Well it's...basically...dying, but not the same as humans do, when an emotion fades, it's forgotten, like a memory, sometimes it can be returned. A personality, is different, you can weaken one, but they are never forgotten"

Thomas stared intently as Morality continued to explain.

"When a personality fades or is about to fade, their fear makes them twisted-"

"Their fear?-"

"Wouldn't you be afraid if you were dying?"

Thomas nodded so Morality continued his explanation.

"They lose their form and latch on to their host's mind, leeching the life right out of them. It's worse when it's a manifested Personality, they lose their form, turn into shadows and slowly kill their hosts. Depression is the best known example for one of these"

Thomas looked pale.

"I-is this why there aren't many manifestors?"