Cause and Affect

||Forty-Three

I always imagine waking up in a hospital, and seeing the one I love most, or even my family waiting for me to awaken. But it never turns out that way.

"I need to see her!" I recognized as mom's voice.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Jorden, she cannot be seen by any visitors right now." a voice replied.

"She's my daughter! I should have the right to see her if she's in pain!"

"I understand, but she is in critical condition. She needs to be alone to let her body rest."

"Explain to me how for the last four months, I've been able to see my daughter undergo more than I can count of chemo, but I can't see her when she needs me most?"

This was getting heated. I wish I could help, but when I tried moving my limbs, they wouldn't, When I attempted to open my eyes, they wouldn't. What was wrong with me?

"I don't know how to answer that, ma'am. But it's doctors orders that you cannot be in this room right now." I soon figured out that it was probably a nurse, who had in fact just started working here, and didn't know me, or my family's situation.

I wonder what was wrong with me. Why couldn't I move? Why did I feel numb?

It then became silent. I wanted to hear mom's voice, to tell her I was okay. I then realized that something was in my nose, was it a breathing tube?

After awhile, I was getting really sick of being sick. I was just left to myself to think. And to pray of course.

Hi God, it's me, Kaila, obviously. There are lots of things I want to address and ask for. First, I want to thank you for keeping me here. It's been such a pleasure to show people that someone who used to be a nobody, is now showing people strength, and I can't be more grateful.

Second, I want to say that I don't blame you for this. This sickness. It's not your fault, and I'm not angry. I just ask that, you'd give that revolution to my friends and family, that if I do end up visiting you, they won't be mad.

Third, I want to thank you for sending me to camp this past year. I don't think my life would be the same, if I hadn't gone to camp. I wouldn't have fallen in love with you more, and my life wouldn't have changed. Dad probably would've still died, and Kaleb probably wouldn't still committed suicide, but I would have dealt with it differently.

Lastly, I want to ask if you could heal me. To give me the strength to finish this battle, and to show other kids dealing with this, that they aren't alone. And they can make it through.

Thank you Father, for everything. I owe everything I am to you. Love your faithful daughter. Amen.