I'm surprised I haven't pushed her away yet. With the way I am I haven't let anyone close enough to see the cracks anymore. Everyone leaves or changes after that. No one looks at me like I'm worth a damn anymore. They all see me as a broken shell of a girl who will never be repaired, not for the lack of trying, but the lack of ability. I won't push her away, because as soon as she sees the mess I am and the cracks I have, it's only a matter of time before she leaves me too. And I'm not blaming her. I mean who would want to stay with someone like me anyway? I'd push myself away if I could.
