I thought you were gone.
I thought I had put that part of my life behind me.
I have grown from it and learned from all of those mistakes I made out of bad judgement.
I was naive then, thinking you'd choose me and love me and make me happy. But all you did was show me for the first time that I wasn't enough.
I wasn't pretty enough or good enough or even worth your time eventually. You strung me along. It was like I was a puppet connected with strings made out of possessiveness and you were the puppet master, playing with me when it suited you and hanging me up when you would get bored or something better came along. And when you'd get bored with that or you would get angry you'd pull me out of your back pocket again to fit any needs you needed to be met at the time; a friend, someone to listen to you, a lover. But it never stayed that way. Playing the person to fit your physical needs was the worst. That's what hurt the most, I'd think I was going to be kept around again, but permanently, and then another girl would come along and it was as if we never were together that way. Was I truly that disposable? Did I make you think I was just there for temporary use?
I'll never know the answer to all of my questions. But what I do know is where I am now in life, I'd never be that puppet again. I'm permanent in her life now. I'm there to fill any need, want, and desire of hers, but she has never taken it for granted or abused it like you did. She cares about me as a person, she doesn't care about what I can do for her.
But you did. And just when I thought you were done trying to use me for your needs, here you come trying to attach me to those strings again.
You're always there.
But I hope you never come back again.
