Its over.
I cant fight being fake happy.
I can't keep pushing like this when its all for nothing. Ill have to leave as soon as i can. I cant stay here. Im not healing here.
Im a safety hazard to myself, and that will cause harm to others. Too bad im not in therapy anymore. Ha. Id know what to do then. But honestly, its not like i told her the important shit anyway. Not the cutting, or the pills, or the drinking while on those pills. Not even the long periods where all i consume is water. Ive been fixing it all, but my solutions are like putting duct tape on a split crumbling wall thats cracked And gouged to high heavens. They aren't solutions, but rather me being denial that its not as bad as i claim. So ill keep taping myself together as pieces fall off and spiral down the drain, and ill watch as i lose piece after piece of myself.
