I could say she's like a storm, but she can't be labeled with a cliche and a few words that could sum up her looks and personality. She is too unique and independent for that. She doesn't depend on other people's compliments to know that she is gorgeous and determined and trustworthy. She knows how beautiful her eyes are, without any makeup and even when they are red from smoking weed for hours they are still as gorgeous, and captivating of sorts. She may not always be or feel confident, but she is always good at making it look like she is. That girl can walk into a room and own it without even trying. Five foot and two inches and it is like she possesses the entire world's beauty inside her. She radiates like the sun when she is happy and her smile, my god that smile could bring me to my knees. I am not sure how to explain how it fills me with giddiness when she laughs. that fucking laugh can fix a horrible situation, because it only takes a millisecond until she has you laughing too, no matter whats going on. And I love that. I love her laugh, and the way her eyes light up, and how she blushes and tells me to fuck off and rolls her eyes because she knows what I respond with everytime. I love how she gets lost in a book, and I could talk for hours without her realizing I had even said her name. I love hearing the little noises she makes as she starts to doze off, and how she hates it and has never figured out why she does it. Her telling me that I'm being a "rip" and need to knock my shit off makes me smile because her face is adorable when she tries to act mean but the smile creeps through half of the time. I love how she has different ways of holding her cigarette and how she teases me about how I flick mine the "wrong" way. I love how she would ask me if I wanted one, and then she would light it for me too. I miss how she used to message me because the kids were sleeping and would ask if I would lay with her and play with her hair before she went to sleep. And because I have almost never been able to say no to her, I would roll my eyes, and get up. And I would end up sitting there for quite awhile, running my hands over her hair, and massaging her back, because she always has at least one knot in her lower back that I have to use two hands with because I want to make sure I really get it out. And I didn't care that when I ended up back in my bed, most of the time my hip would pop out from sitting there for so long, but I never cared because I cared about her sleeping and about her feeling better. I care about when she eats and if it's healthy, and I care about her sleep schedule because she needs rest. I care about her. I want to make sure she never is angry for a long period of time, and I want to make sure that she is always happy, even if it isn't possible to be completely happy, I want to make sure she is as happy as can be. Even if it isn't with me. I can handle that, as long as no one hurts her. I would trade never seeing her again for her to be happy, content, and to never hurt, ever again. Watching her cry while laying in my lap was so heartbreaking, not just for me, but for her. She doesn't cry often, but the few times I have seen her it has been heart wrenching.
She is damn near perfect in my eyes, and that's saying something considering I don't believe in human perfection. I believe that some parts of people are perfect, but I can't find a flaw in her that makes her flawed. She may have flaws as everyone does, but she is far from being truly flawed. And even if she was, I don't think it would matter. Because the good qualities she possesses overrides any bad ones that may exist. I may have been to hell and back, but I was glad I had her to hold my hand through it. I may not believe in God, but if I did, she is my version of a foul mouthed, smoking, sarcastic, stubborn as an ass angel. And I believe some things happen for a reason, and I believe I was meant to go through the things I did with her, because I have become stronger, and I have a stronger support system than I ever had because of that girl. She has given up a lot to try to help fix me, and I don't know if I ever will be fixed, but I know I will be content being broken the way I am with her by my side. I will be content with her, and that won't ever change.
