Tear stained pillows and red eyes.
Empty stomachs and empty plates.
Pills and alcohol.
These things are results of the white hot hatred I have for myself.
I could cry for hours to make me think my feelings washed away with those tears.
I could not eat for days to try to make myself feel better about my body.
I could take endless pills or drink until I blackout to numb my thoughts.
But doing all of these things still won't make me hate myself any less.
Because the hatred I have isn't something you can fix, rather something you have to live with.
