I know I said I'd never leave, but I also said I'd get better. It's not my fault the chemicals in my brain are fucked up. As much as I try to be happy, it won't ever work like that.
But I would still try, and I would take pills and keep changing them and upping the dosage even though it isn't doing anything for me. I was still trying.
But I can't fix myself completely while trying to be happy with someone. It never works out well.
Yes, she was wonderful. She had her flaws, but everyone does.
But she deserved someone better than me. Someone,even slightly, less broken than I am. Everything I said was true, even if it hurt. And when I had to say those things, it hurt me just as bad.
I still care, even if you think I don't. Or you think I lied to keep you from hurting, even though every word I said was true. And as much as it pains me, you'll find someone who makes you happier. Because truthfully, I could never make you happy in the long run. So I did you a favor really, because you wouldn't have the heart to hurt me later on.
