cake, RVD & 13RW ✓

xxiv. clay jensen

No song because I'm rewatching Cat in the hat because ogmrekefi

clay jensen, for toxicfoxr «       

    I sat in class alone. Well, not exactly alone, I had people seating next to me on both sides, but I didn't feel the need to interact with any of them.

I looked across the room and found Clay who looked lost in his own world.

As much as I hated Clay, I still felt bad for him because of Hannah's death. He loved her, but I loved her more.

The tapes that Hannah created made us hate each other even more, but it also brought us closer.

Hannah wanted us to be friend even though she knew how much we hated each other, she put up with our constant fighting, she actually found it amusing, and that's one of the reasons why I loved about her.

The bell rang and everyone stood up quickly to get out of the class.

I gathered my things slowly and made my way towards Clay who only.just realized that the bell rung.

"Hey," I said with a small smile, he looked at me for a second and smiled then went back to putting his things away. "You still up for tonight?" I asked.

"Yep."

"Cool."

"Yeah."

We kind of just stood there awkwardly and stayed silent.

After a few more awkward glances, I nodded and walked out the room and into the busy hallway, bumping into Justin on the way out.

"Hey Kennedy, aka 'little miss I used to be so happy about everything'," he joked.

"Shut up Justin." I groaned.

"Jess misses you, she talks about you a lot, and Hannah but-"

"Don't talk about Hannah," I spoke sternly.

"Okay, sorry, but you should hang out with us again, maybe tonight."

"Sorry, I have a thing, spend the night with your girlfriend, alone, and maybe you can finally get laid," I said quickly then walked away.

____

    Clay and I sat in the living room quietly, my parents and my little brother Logan were out of town. The T.V was on, we were watching Jaws except none of us had our eyes on the actual movie.

"So... how are you, Ken?" Clay asked, I sighed and grabbed the blanket to pulled it over my shoulders.

"What do you think?" Clay shrugged and checked his phone. "Sorry, ever since Hannah-"

"You've changed, I get it, everybody noticed."

"Thanks," I said sarcastically.

"No no, I like it, I kind of, you know," he paused and thought about his words, "I didn't like your loud, spontaneous personality as much." 

"Oh."

"That sounds bad, sorry," he chuckled slightly, "you were quite mean to me though."

"Yeah? And you were mean to me too so I guess we're even," I said coldy.

"Yeah, but because Hannah liked me better you got jealous and started being a bitch."

"She only talked to you more because I was always with my other friends-"

"Yeah and whenever you were with your friends, were you ever there for her when she was upset? No, I was because I cared about her a lot more than you did."

"If you cared about her so much then why did she kill herself?"

"You listened to the tapes, you know what you did, I know what I did, everyone on the tapes knows everything!"

"Clay, get out my fucking house and never talk to me again," I got up from the sofa and pointed to the door.

"You can't fucking kick me out, Hannah wanted us to be-"

"I don't give a shit! Get out Clay!"

At this point, we were both crying.

"Don't you want what Hannah wants?"

"Yes I do, but this friendship is never gonna work out and I want you to-"

Clay jumped up from the couch and pressed his lips on mine.

I kissed him back.

The kiss was slow and passionate, and also very wet from our tears. 

"Do you still want me to leave?" He said when we pulled away, he tucked the strands of damp hair from my face behind my ears and cupped my face.

I shook my head and we sat back down on the sofa, Clay's arm was wrapped around my shoulder and I held his other hand in mine.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"I'm sorry too."

"Clay, don't leave, I don't want to lose anyone anymore," I sniffed.

"I'm not gonna leave you," he raised my hand and kissed it gently. "I was lying about not liking your loud and spontaneous self, you're a bigger bitch when you're sad," he joked, I laughed and snuggled my head in his chest.

After a few minutes of cuddling, Clay's breathing was more calm and slow, I put my head up to check on him and he was sleeping.

I grabbed the T.V remote from next to me and turned the T.V off before drifing off to sleep myself. 

____

a/n

unedited whoops, I wrote this at hockey while I was waiting for my game

lmao so this freaking guy was talking to me yesterday (wink wonk) on DM and we literally just had a throwback moment with him and we ended up face timing and watching vines together.

sincerely yours, liz