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unsteady- x ambassadors
jughead jones
i stared at him, frozen as his own eyes stared right back into my soul. no one moved as we paid attention to our gentle breaths.
"i... i don't know what to say," i stumbled over my worlds as i felt the blood rush to my face. my hands made their way up to my red face to cover up the embarrassment. "i don't... i'm sorry jughead but i just don't like you that way."
a short breath escaped is mouth and he leaned back into his chair. not a word came out from him. i noticed his eyes begin to glisten as he fiddled with his hands on the table we shared. the minutes ticked by and we sat there in pop's.
"i hope you understand-"
"no y/n, i don't understand," the quick change of his emotions caught me off guard. "ten years! i waited ten years just for you to show you feel the same way as i do." his breathing was shaky and his hands on the table curled up into fists. "but what i, forsythe pendleton jones the third, or in reggie's words; spooky, scrawny, pathetic internet troll, smug, moody, serial killer fanboy freak," he was holding back tears, "i will never be good enough, not for you, not for anyone living in this goddamn world."
"i just thought for once, for one second at least," he paused and calmed himself down, "i just thought i could find somebody that loved me back."
now i was holding back my own tears tears. my eyelids felt heavy as i tried to fight them falling down my face. i didn't know why i was so upset. he was the only one that should be hurt, not me.
"jughead, i'm-"
"sorry? everybody says sorry but they never really mean it."
not in this case. i meant it when i said it. i jumped up from my seat and moved to the seat on jughead's side. to be honest i didn't really understand why i felt the need to do that. i could have said what i needed to say from across the booth, but i felt safer with him as we sat side by side in silence. i never expected my friday night to turn into this. i never pictured myself crying in pop's with the boy i love.
love.
ten years, jughead said. ten years. that was a long, long time ago since i first met jughead. since we first shook hands as kids and that officially declared our friendship. for ten years i hid my feelings for him and waited for the day to come up where he would confess his for me, because i always knew.
"this just ruined everything, didn't it?" he breathed deeply, turning to face me. "our friendship, or whatever we were, it's gone now, right?"
that right there was the reason i kept my mouth shut. what if i decided to confess how i felt and that would have just ruined our entire friendship? just one little confession. but i just shook my head and sent him a small smile.
was it that hard for me to say it back? it all brought me back to seventh grade, back when i told reggie that i loved him. the worlds slipped out so easily back then. maybe it's easier to say you love someone to someone you know you truly don't, than it is to say it to someone you really do love.
"i'm sorry, i really am," i tell him once again and this time he listened.
"don't worry too much, it was dumb-"
"no, juggie i-" i stopped myself before i could say the words. i just couldn't get it out of me.
jughead wiped his eyes and sniffed. he wasn't crying anymore. i was surprised. he had been hurting for ten years and that was all the tears he had? he was strong and no one could deny it, i admired him for that.
there another silence, this time it was longer. at that moment it felt right to say good bye and leave but i just couldn't take it anymore.
i grabbed his shoulders and pulled him towards me. our lips touched.
oh, how i had waited for this moment to finally happen. the tension was real, as if the ten years we spent together and waited to tell each other our feelings made our connection stronger.
he gently put his hands on either side of my head and held me as our lips moved together in sync.
when we pulled away i instantly fell into his arms as they wrapped around me. i was simply too warm, too comfortable to move. i guess he felt the same way because he didn't let go of me.
"i'm sorry," i told him once again. i felt a smile crawl onto my lips as i buried my face into his chest.
jughead didn't say anything but simply played with my hair softly.
i pulled away from our hug and looked at him sincerely, the same smile planted on my lips. "i'm sorry for not noticing in those ten years, that i had fallen in love with your spooky, scrawny, pathetic blah-blah-blah self," a chuckle escaped from his mouth. "i love you jughead, i really do."
"i love you too, y/n."
___
a/n
for every chapter, i'm gonna put a song i listened to when i wrote the chapter so, at the top of each chapter, there will be a song you should listen to if you haven't already these songs have nothing to do with the imagine by the way. anyways, i hate reading my own writing because i cringe, i feel weird doing it. also, i don't write smut so if you came here for smut then fuck outta here buddy, how am i meant to feel comfortable writing smut when i barely even feel comfortable writing kissing scenes. whoops.
