On My Own (TVD Series)

Faults and Guilts

"It's so hard to see him locked up like this," Elena whispered as I leaned back on the wall with a cup of coffee in my hand.

"You're the one who locked him up," Damon added.

"You helped." I blurted out.

"I couldn't have him running around chewing on people while the town was looking for vampires, now, could I?"

"It had nothing to do with you actually caring about him," Elena asked.

"Your thing, not mine." He whispered before heading back upstairs.

"Did you ever go through this?" Elena asked me.

"I...don't remember much when I first turned. I just kept going in and out of consciousness."

"Why?"

"I didn't want to deal with the fact I was...a vampire, I guess? I enjoyed my life for the time being, but...my mother said I was very happy before I changed."

"She knew?" She whispered.

"Not entirely, she didn't know the I was a vampire, she just thought...puberty. I was more outgoing towards the townspeople, I was more involved with activities. I was actually...Miss. Mystic Falls before I turned." I admitted.

"What?"

"Why do you think, I really didn't try. Caroline was right, I was her competition. I just...I didn't like who I was, Elena. I was very dark, and impulsive."

"You said you had turned your humanity off once when did you do it?"

"I was on vacation with Stefan and Damon, he told us he enrolled in the infantry just a week before leaving us. I couldn't stand being near Stefan since he was still mourning Katherine's death, so I ran. I met Fredrick near a bar just outside of New Orleans."

"New Orleans?" She sighed.

"One thing led to another...I turned it off."

"What happened to you?" She asked.

"I was impulsive, ruthless, narcissistic, and emotionally unstable. I didn't care how many bodies I left behind, as long as I was having fun, and I was getting my share of A positive, I was good."

Finishing up my coffee, I held the cup from the bottom, slowly turning it around with my fingertips.

"They called me 'Ripper de la Nouvelle-Orléans'...Ripper of New Orleans." I whispered.

"What triggers it?" She asked.

Watching Stefan closely through the metal bars, she shifts his body slightly.

"Come on, it's best if we let him sleep," I told her before heading upstairs.

~

Passing the kitchen island, I saw Damon standing near the coffee table where I had a map and the pocket watch Pearl had given me last night.

"Did you ever figure out what that is?" I asked Damon.

"Nope. Whatever it is, it doesn't work. Pearl didn't say anything else about it?" Damon asked me.

"She thought she was stealing his vampire compass, but it was a pocket watch," I whispered, standing beside Damon.

"That Jonathan Gilbert was a crazy scientist." He sighed.

Grabbing the pocket watch from his hands, I turned it around several times trying to find an opening.

"Have you spoken to your uncle lately?"