Imagines/oneshots Book 1

62. Kurt Wagner - late night, long night

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slight mentions of self harm but it should be fine unless you are triggered extremely easily, i know i was for a short while and would tear up at even the slightest mention so dont feel bad about it. everything is gonna be okay and to those of you who know, i appreciate you and you are an amazing person for still being here and living your life. always remember you are loved, you will be heard, and don't be afraid to reach out to people.

Song: save me a spark by sleeping with sirens
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I held my knees to my chest before getting out of bed and walking to the open window. I climbed up and sat on the window sill, just looking out into the open night. I've been thinking recently about my vices and my past and it was making it harder and harder to fall asleep. I sighed deeply, hearing something moving in the distance. My head immediately snapped to where the noise was coming from and I was met with a pacing nightcrawler. Of course he just happened to be up this late. I whisper yelled to him.

"Kurt!"

His head snapped to look at me and *poof* he was gone. A second later and he appeared next to me in the window sill.

"Hello."

I turned to him a let out a small laugh.

"What are you doing up so late?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

His accent was sweet and made him sound more concerned than he probably was.

"Couldn't sleep, haven't been able to for the last couple'a days."

He nodded.

"How come?"

"Thinking to much into things I guess."

I brought my knees to my chest like I had done before coming to the window.

"Want to talk about it?"

I shrugged my shoulders at him.

"I wouldn't want you to be burdened with my secrets."

He tilted his head to look at me.

"You'd be surprised at how good I am at that."

I smiled sadly at him.

"Do you ever just want to be free from this?"

"I'm blue, you do know that right?"

I laughed a little at him.

"That's not what I meant Kurt."

"I know, and yes I do, sometimes. But then I remember where I could be and where I am and I am thankful."

I hugged my knees a little tighter.

"I wish I could say the same, I just feel, I don't know, Stuck?"

"you are the only one responsible for making yourself stuck."

he looked over at me with soft eyes and gave me small knowing smile. i just sighed and let my legs go, swinging them outside the window against the rough brick of the mansion.

"i know,"

i huffed out

"its just hard to let the past go when i have a daily reminder of it, ya know?"

i looked at him and he looked at me knowingly. i just laughed.

"right, that was stupid question."

he just leaned over and nudged me with his elbow.

"it is fine, but some of us have different reminders, like i dont know how hurtful yours are to you."

i just hung my head and thought for a second, a small tear slipping from my eye. i wiped it away quickly but not before Kurt noticed. he brought me into a small hug but didnt let go.

"you dont have to tell me if you dont want to y/n."

i just nodded into his chest and cried a little, letting out a few small sobs before pulling away and wiping my face off.

°°°°°°°°°

i finished my story and let out a sigh. kurt was just quiet but i honestly didnt know what to expect from him. i mean he knew me, but he didnt really know me. he grabbed my arm lightly and looked into my eyes.

"may i see them?"

he asked quietly. i just nodded my head yes and pulled up my sleeve. there were a few stray, faded, scars littering my forearm but he didnt seem put off by them, he just ran his thumb over a few.

"are you alright now?"

i just shrugged.

"sometimes i think i am, but other times its really hard to even tell myself that i am much less believe that i am. but i know i cant revert back to my old ways, i cant do that to myself anymore."

he just nodded and brought me into his side. we sat like that in silence for a while, me picking at my nails a few times. he never let me go and he never pressed me to tell him any more. soon i was asleep leaning on his shoulder and was at peace with him.

°°°°°°°°°

i woke up snuggled into kurts side, the blankets were pulled over the two of us and i could feel his tail wrapped loosely around my waist. i rolled over and wrapped an arm around him, nudging my nose into his neck as he slept. this way the sun was out of my face, due to it still being open from the night prior. he hugged me tightly to him and hummed.

"go back to bed liebe."

i just smiled into his neck.

"will do captain."

i just yawned and fell back into a sound sleep. that was until peter came crashing in with Scott hot on his trail to wake us up for x-men training. neither of us wanted to leave the warmth of each other or the bed but at least we could leave knowing that we were more comfortable with each other than we had been before. it was nice to get my little secret off my chest and to no one other than my best friend.