120. bucky barnes - helping hands

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🎶This has been in my drafts since May 🎶

song: 17 crimes by AFI

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i sat on the couch and read my magazine quietly. i hadnt been there long when bucky and sam both walked in. they were sort of joking around with each other but i didnt pay much mind to them. i flipped the page and sam spoke up.

"we gonna bother you if we hang in here?"

i looked up slowly, trying to finish the sentence i was on before removing my eyes from the page.

"no go right ahead, take off your coat, stay a while."

i returned my attention back to the article in front of me. i couldnt care any less if they stayed or not, i was gonna finish this damn thing if it killed me. there was a short silence before sam moved to sit on the couch to the side of the one i was already sitting on. i didnt really look up but he said something to bucky before i noticed him walk out. i looked up just in time to watch him leave and quickly turned my head to sam who hadnt moved.

"i thought you guys were gonna hang out."

he gave me a pity smile. 

"guess he didnt want to take off his jacket."

he shrugged. i looked back down at my magazine before realization struck me. i groaned and picked myself off the couch to go follow him. i saw him move quickly down the hallway ahead of me.

"bucky!"

i caught him as he reached out to the lab door, he paused with his fingers barely on the handle.

"can i help you with something."

i jogged a bit to catch up to him.

"im sorry."

he raised a brow at me.

"for what?"

"for what i said, i didnt really think about it before it came out of my mouth, and im sorry for that."

he let go of the door and crossed his arms over his chest.

"i dont know what youre talking about."

"im not blind bucky, i know you arent happy, and i know you hide your arm."

he dropped his arms to his side. he looked at me for a second before grabbing my hand and dragging me down the hallway.

"what are you doing? where are we going?"

he didnt answer my questions, he just kept walking. when we rounded the corner i realized we were headed to his room. when we stepped inside he closed the door quickly and pushed me up against it. his arms were above my head and he was hovering over me.

"have you been listening in on me? ive been trying my darnedest to stay out of everyones way, and be as much of a background character as possible, believe me-"

i cut him off.

"oh i know, i see you bucky, and i know."

he stepped back and looked at me.

"how could you possibly know?"

i stepped forward, causing him to move backward into the room.

"im probably the only one in this damn compound who ever notices anything wrong with people. i curse myself for being an empath but sometimes i just cant help it. i see everything everyone does, i notice things. i see when people are uncomfortable, i see when people are hiding things, and i see exactly what everyone hates about themselves."

he brought his right arm across his body to hold his left arm, his metal arm. i reached for his metal hand but he pulled back.

"please, let me see it?"

i watched him relax a little but he was still very on edge. he dropped his flesh hand and offered his metal one to me. i grabbed it and pulled the glove off slowly. i could see the metal shift and could tell he was tensing up again. i flipped his hand over so his palm was face up and slowly ran a finger over it. he watched me intently.

"you shouldnt be afraid of it."

i looked up at him.

"you should embrace it, control it."

"what if i cant?"

i reached up to unzip his jacket, slowly sliding it down his shoulders and tossing it on his bed. i ran my fingers up his forearm.

"but you can. you own it, its apart of you. theres no one here going to take that away from you buck."

he clenched his fist a couple of times.

"maybe youre right, im just worried."

i ran my hand back down his arm and placed my hand in his. he slowly grabbed my hand back and offered me a small smile.

"there are people here who want to see you succeed, and thats not gonna happen if you hide behind your insecurities."

He gave me a small smile.

"You ever take your own advice?"

I laughed.

"Only sometimes, but if I followed it myself it wouldn't be very good advice would it?"

He shrugged.

"Guess not, but if I promise to start embracing my issues you have to do the same."

I looked at him with a serious gaze.

"We help each other?"

He held his metal hands pinky out.

"Deal."

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